The Ponderings of Sara

Bothered

2010-02-26T22:03:00.002-05:00

Last Saturday night bothered me. More importantly, concerts in February bother me. Brainwashing bothers me. Winter Jam bothered me.

Well, I guess it's pretty clear that I'm bothered. Last Saturday night I took a group of my youth to the Winter Jam concert in Charlottesville. We went up early and stood in line. We got in and got our seats. We were looking forward to a great concert. We enjoyed the opening bands. (I especially enjoyed the Sidewalk Prophets.) I was irritated by the amount of "he" language that was being used as well as referring to "Father God" over and over in prayer. As the evening went on, it came time for a "message" of some sorts. The speaker was introduced and came to the stage with a youth. He offered the kid a $50 bill in exchange for a penny. The message was, who wouldn't want a large amount of money in exchange for just a little. The speaker tried to tie this to how accepting Christ is. The guy said that when one accepts Christ they get all the ever needed or wanted. He said, "Girls, it's like when you walk into a mall and you see the shoes and clothes and you can get EVERYTHING you ever wanted." That's what believing in God is like. He then followed up with, "And guys, if you are worried about the clothes and shoes, then I'm worried about you." Everyone sitting around me took that as a snide remark towards gays.

After this intro, he turned to trying to scare the youth into believing in Christ. I was thoroughly disgusted and he wasn't even five minutes into his sermon. The hell, fire, and brimstone message was in full swing and continued on for what seemed like forever. I physically felt sick. The youth were texting me continuously...asking what is this dude talking about. One texted and said: "I'm not drinking the kool-aid." As the speaking went on, the more fed up I got. Finally I thought he was done and he prayed to "Father God" even more.

When it was time to collect the love offering the speaker got back up and gave a message about how it was just a "drop in the bucket". He tied this into the scripture of the boy with the loaves and the fish. He gave all he had, and before Jesus multiplied it, the disciples said his donation was just "a drop in the bucket." I wasn't buying his crap.

I was seriously turned off. It was as if after the glorious picture was then turned to scaring the youth into believing. I grew up with the hell, fire, and brimstone messages and I never wanted to hear another one again. When we left the concert that night, I felt as if the youth needed to debrief what had happened. I was so thankful that they had many questions. I was thankful that they could put into words their disgust for what they heard. I was thankful that they had been taught the message of God's love and that they know what a true relationship with Christ is like, instead of being scared into one.

As the week has gone on, I have had plenty of time to think about why I'm bothered and what I wanted to write about it. While there were many details of the evening that I chose to forget, I remember the speaker saying how the message being offered was one of hope. Just a couple days ago, one of the adults that went on the trip with us emailed me some of his thoughts. He shared that at the concert, we could interpret that as hope for the moment. He felt the youth were being scared into believing and with that belief would come hope for the moment. He then said that at our church, we are teaching and experiencing a lifestyle of hope. It is important for us to all remember that there are many ways to bring people to a belief in Christ. However, the scare tactic doesn't work. It may work for a week or two, but there is no follow through.

After this experience, I've decided that what God is calling me to do is preach the truth. The truth is that God loves all people. God loves. God made us to love and be loved. Instead of scaring people into believing, it's time for Christians to love like Jesus did. That love will preach. That love doesn't take many words. That love is saving grace. There's no need to scare...there's just a need to love.

Walking the Labyrinth

2010-01-05T23:32:00.004-05:00

Today we set up a 45 foot canvas labyrinth in our sanctuary. The sanctuary is open the first Tuesday of every month for walking the labyrinth. During Advent the labyrinth was out once per week. During the hustle and bustle of the Advent season, I didn't find the time to walk, though I knew I needed to.

So this afternoon, when all was quiet, I went into the sanctuary, removed my shoes and began to center myself. I hadn't walked a labyrinth in years and so it was refreshing as I began my walk. As I walked, I pondered the following quote:

"Let nothing disturb you. Nothing dismay you. All things pass. But God never changes. Whoever has God lacks nothing. If you only have God, you have more than enough." -Teresa of Avila

On the journey inward, I prayed. I cried out to God offering all of the things that have been holding me back. When I made it to the center, I stood looking at the cross and remembered the many reasons I believe. After spending time in the center, I began my outward journey. On the outward journey I just listened for God to speak and God did speak through the quiet.

I share this experience with you because I want to encourage anyone who can make it to the next labyrinth walk in February to do so. If you have never walked a labyrinth and are wondering what it might be like, here are some thoughts:

"Your life is a sacred journey. And it is about change, growth, discovery, movement, transformation, continuously expanding your vision of what is possible, stretching your soul, learning to see clearly and deeply, listening to your intuition, taking courageous challenges at every step along the way. You are on the path... exactly where you are meant to be right now... And from here, you can only go forward, shaping your life story into a magnificent tale of triumph, of healing of courage, of beauty, of wisdom, of power, of dignity, and of love."
Caroline Adams

We are all on the path... exactly where we need to be. The labyrinth is a model of that path.

A labyrinth is an ancient symbol that relates to wholeness. It combines the imagery of the circle and the spiral into a meandering but purposeful path. The Labyrinth represents a journey to our own center and back again out into the world. Labyrinths have long been used as meditation and prayer tools.

A labyrinth is an archetype with which we can have a direct experience. We can walk it. It is a metaphor for life's journey. It is a symbol that creates a sacred space and place and takes us out of our ego to "That Which Is Within."

Labyrinths and mazes have often been confused. When most people hear of a labyrinth they think of a maze. A labyrinth is not a maze. A maze is like a puzzle to be solved. It has twists, turns, and blind alleys. It is a left brain task that requires logical, sequential, analytical activity to find the correct path into the maze and out.

A labyrinth has only one path. It is unicursal. The way in is the way out. There are no blind alleys. The path leads you on a circuitous path to the center and out again.

A labyrinth is a right brain task. It involves intuition, creativity, and imagery. With a maze many choices must be made and an active mind is needed to solve the problem of finding the center. With a labyrinth there is only one choice to be made. The choice is to enter or not. A more passive, receptive mindset is needed. The choice is whether or not to walk a spiritual path.

At its most basic level the labyrinth is a metaphor for the journey to the center of your deepest self and back out into the world with a broadened understanding of who you are.

I encourage you to take some time to center yourself. Taking 45 minutes out of my day to center myself, pray, and listen was just what I needed to lift my spirit.

Labyrinth thoughts taken from: http://www.lessons4living.com/labyrinth.htm

Challenge for 2010

2010-01-03T23:34:00.003-05:00

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! Happy New Year! It's 2010. New years always excites me because it reminds of of new beginnings. There are always things that I had wanted to do, hoped to do that didn't happen in the year prior. As I thought about goals/resolutions for myself this year I came up with two: I want to start running, and I want to live like Jesus. As I thought about the second goal, I thought about how those around me could be involved.

Tonight I challenged the youth to a new goal or resolution for 2010. We are committed to living like Jesus did. In the gospel of Matthew, Jesus tells us to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love our neighbors as ourselves.

I often hear horrible statistics about what other world religions think of Christians. It is quoted that the greatest single cause of Atheism today is Christians that acknowledge Jesus with their lips, but deny him with their lifestyles. So many times we get caught up in worldly things that we forget about the message of Jesus to love others.

The challenge is to live like Jesus did. Jesus loved all people, lent a listening ear, helped a person in need, never condemned, always forgave.

What are your new years resolutions? How does the message of Jesus align with them? Will you accept the challenge to live like Jesus did?

A Snow Day

2009-12-20T20:19:00.006-05:00

Since I couldn't leave my house to get to church this morning, I took some time to reflect today on God's goodness. When I was growing up, I remember several times that it snowed more than a couple inches. I remember the excitement that would show on my face as I would sit at the picture window and watch the snow fall. As the snow would get deeper I would long to go outside. Finally, mom would get me ready to head outside and I would make my way next door to my grandparents house (which is where my family lives now). I would meet my Granddaddy on the front porch. From there we would head out to the tractor with my cousin. Granddaddy would pull us on tubes behind the tractor for hours.

I remember one time that it snowed in particular. This time it was different. The snow was deep. The deepest I could remember. My Granddaddy walked ahead. He had no problem. He went around back, toward the barn, to get the tractor. I struggled to follow behind him. I made it about 10 feet before I got stuck, and 10 seconds before I was scared. I was having boot- trouble. If I raised my foot, my boot would slip off. If I kept it down, I couldn’t move. Either, I could move and risk frost bite- or stay where I was and freeze solid.

I started to yell. “Granddaddy! Help! I’m stuck!” Snowflakes clung to my eyelashes. He couldn’t hear me. I yelled louder. I had flashbacks to the episodes of Little House on the Prairie where they were stranded in the snow…I started to cry. My ears started to burn. (I was sure it was a sign of frostbite) Tears froze on my cheeks.

Just when the world started to grow dim… (ok- maybe not so much, but I was a girl and a tad melodramatic) I saw my Granddaddy come out of the barn door. “Come on!” He called. “I can’t” I wailed. “I’m stuck!” My Grandaddy looked at me. He looked at the snow. He walked toward me. Shuffling his feet. Clearing a path. Then, he turned, “Follow me” he called over the wind and snow.

And, I did. All around the backyard. I followed him. Sometimes he shuffled, sometimes he just, walked. Where he shuffled- I skipped- the snow like the red sea, was parted on either side of me. Where he walked, I hopped from one of his gigantic (to me) footprints to another. Where the snow drifted too thick to shuffle through and too high to hop over, my Granddaddy carried me.

Often times, my journey with God, is a lot like a snow day. Exciting, and a bit dangerous. Fun, but also, hard, footprint hopping work. Some days, I feel like I’m skipping along behind God as a path is cleared. Other days, I struggle to jump from one footprint to another. There are days, when I feel like God's turned some corner where I can’t see the way. Then, there are the days when I feel stuck. Afraid to move and afraid to stay put. Life is just too deep, too high, too cold, too hard, for me to walk. I wail. I cry.

And God, hears. God wipes the snowflakes and tears from my lashes, and I can see. God was right there all the time. God picks me up. God carries me. As God always does.

Not, just on snow days.

Remember this scripture from Isaiah:

"Listen to me, O house of Jacob,
all you who remain of the house of Israel,
you whom I have upheld since you were conceived,
and have carried since your birth.

Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am God, I am God who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

"To whom will you compare me or count me equal?
To whom will you liken me that we may be compared?"

Isaiah 46:3-5

After spending this snow day reflecting on God, we received a phone call from a family friend. She lives in Northwestern Virginia and got about 2 feet of snow. She is not in good health, but went out to shovel her driveway and sidewalk. She made little progress before realizing that she couldn't do it alone. She went in, sat down and prayed. A little while later she looked out and 4 young men walked up and started shoveling her driveway. She went out to speak to them and they said they were missionaries. She offered money, but they refused. They only asked for water. When they finished the drive and walkway, they left, walked down the street and didn't shovel for anyone else. It's amazing how God provides for those who ask and seek.

So take some time to look at this snow, whether you got 10 inches or 24 inches, our earth is covered in beauty. Take time to know that God is always there, clearing a path, making footprints for us to walk in. There may be times that we get lost, or lose the path, but if we cry out and listen we will realize that God is always HERE!

On Being Thankful

2009-11-17T22:57:00.005-05:00

Next week we will be celebrating Thanksgiving. It is one of my favorite holidays because I gather with family. I enjoy spending the time with family that I only get to see once or twice per year. We get to catch up, laugh, and generally have a good time. We also share a huge meal, so that makes our time together even better.

Lately, I've been watching people's facebook statuses about the things they are thankful for. While I haven't joined in on changing my status, I have been reflecting on the things I am thankful for. These include:

1. My family: I am supported by such a loving family that truly cares for my well-being and lifts me up in my ministry.

2. My friends: Most of my friends are spread out through the US but we are able to stay in touch. I am thankful for all of them, but especially those I am closest to. Those that share common beliefs and we lift each other up in prayer.

3. My youth: I have the greatest group of youth ever. I am thankful for each one of them: their individuality, their personalities, their gifts, and their love.

4. My church: I am thankful also for the wonderful body of Christ found at Good Shepherd. The people are encouraging and accepting, loving and missional.

5. My Faith: My faith continues to be one of the greatest things I am thankful for. Without it I would not be where I am today.

Notice that not one thing I listed was a material possession. As I have reflected about what I am thankful for, not once did I first reflect on a material thing. While I am thankful for the necessities such as clothing, food, a roof over my head, running water, a vehicle to drive, and so on, I am most thankful for the people, the relationships, and my faith in God.

The Bible is full of scripture that reminds us to be thankful. One such passage is:

Know that the Lord is God.
It is he that made us, and we are his;
we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

⁴Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
and his courts with praise.
Give thanks to him, bless his name.

⁵For the Lord is good;
his steadfast love endures for ever,
and his faithfulness to all generations.

Psalm 100:3-5 (NRSV)

Remember during this time of thanksgiving to give God the credit. What are you thankful for and how do you show God your thanks? God is Good and the love God gives will last forever, so give thanks in all you do now and forever, amen.

God is Mighty to Save

2009-11-16T23:57:00.004-05:00

Living life as a minister is not always the easiest thing. I feel like my life is a open book. I'm always being watched, I'm held up to higher standards. While this is the life of a minister, I'm still just human. I live life just like anyone else. My education happens to be in religion. My calling happens to be student ministry, and through God's grace I can minister to others.

However, just like everyone else, I have my moments of feeling empty. I experience times in my life when God is calling me back, yearning for our relationship to grow stronger. This past weekend on the Middle School Retreat, I think I got just as much out of it as my middle schoolers did. The speaker did quite the job of reminding us what our lives are to be like. We were reminded that we love because God first loved us. We were reminded that we are beautifully and fearfully made. This is just what I needed to hear.

One of the songs we sing in youth group is "Mighty to Save" by Hillsong. We sang that song this past weekend. As we sang I truly listened to the words. The second time we sang it I was able to sing the words as a prayer. And finally last night at youth worship I was able to sing them and truly mean what I was singing.

Here is a part that sticks out to me:

So take me as You find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.

I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender.

My Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

Shine your light and let the whole world see,
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus

I hope that in your own life you take time to reflect on your relationship with God. Are you feeling empty? Ask God to take you as you are, all your fears and failures, fill your life again!

(On a personal note, I do not refer to God as He, so when singing this song, I change the word "he" to God.)

(Photo Credit: "Under Your Wing, by Rick Berry. This picture reminds me of the verse: Shine Your light and let the whole world see, We're singing for the glory of the risen king")

What we have to look forward to

2009-11-11T00:30:00.009-05:00

I spent this past week in Seattle, Washington with my good friend Dusty. We met at Campbell and became good friends. During a time in both of our lives when we just needed to "get away" we decided to take a trip. We narrowed it down to four places and then selected Seattle. What a great choice we made! Seattle proved to be wonderful. There were so many things to do, places to go, sites to see.
During our time away, it gave us a chance to catch up face to face. This is much needed with friends when you spend extended periods of time separated by long distances. Phone conversations, text messages, and emails are nice but spending time face to face is truly the best. Dusty and I both love to travel so during this trip, we discussed the next places we want to go and things we want to see. We shared stories and memories, laughed and cried, and prayed for each other, something that keeps our friendship strong.
During the midst of our time away, I was reminded of the reality back home. Many of my youth were being faced with hard situations. With the death of two grandparents as well as the death of a 15 year old friend, I knew that there was much I needed to be doing at home. I picked up the phone and made calls. I sent emails and text messages but most of all I prayed. While the final days of my trip were great, they were still overshadowed by the tremendous losses being faced at home.
We arrived to the airport on Monday morning and said "see you later" (as is custom: we don't say good bye). We checked into our airlines and made our way to separate gates. As I sat down at Gate A8 I looked up to see a woman coming towards me. She sat down near me and said hello. I responded. She then asked where I was going. I told her and followed with asking where she was going. She told me that she was on her way to Cancun to meet her college friends. This woman was in her 60's and going to meet her college friends. I thought to myself, there's hope! She told me that her best friends to this day were the friends she made in college. When I told her that I'd been in Seattle with my friend from college she quickly said, "Good for you! I hope it continues as long as it can. Go places, meet up, catch up, and have fun. That's what true friends are for." I thanked the woman and quickly texted Dusty to tell her about my encounter. This put a smile in my heart, knowing what I have to look forward to in the years to come meeting up with old friends in new places making wonderful memories.

A toast to the next place we visit, the next memories we make, this is what we have to look forward to.

(Enjoy a few Seattle pictures!)

Be reminded...

2009-10-24T19:18:00.004-04:00

This past summer I went to Israel on a journey to see where the biblical events took place. For some in the group, they traveled there to have these great spiritual experiences. While I did have several experiences that I consider to be spiritual, I was truly there to see and take it all in.

Not many people get the opportunity to travel abroad. I have been blessed to travel abroad each summer since I turned 18. I had always wanted to go to Israel so when the opportunity arose I signed right up.

Being in Israel brought the Bible alive for me. I would stand in a place and realize that the biblical stories I had read so many times before had happened at or near where I was standing. That truly opened my eyes to the history of it all. I was excited to be sharing these experiences with good friends.

The picture above is taken from the place where Jesus stood and wept over Jerusalem. After sitting on this hill and having a short devotion and prayer, we walked a little further to see a tree. We were reminded of when Christ gave his life for us, taking on our sins and freeing us from all things. Take a look at the tree of thorns and remember: "And they clothed him in a purple cloak; and after twisting some thorns into a crown, they put it on him" Mark 15:17

In this Holy Land, I walked where Jesus walked. I wept where he wept. I was reminded of what Christ did for me. I went for the history of the land, I left with spiritual renewal.

It's time to write again

2009-09-26T17:35:00.001-04:00

I haven't posted anything to this blog since January. There have been many reasons for this, but mostly I've just been extremely busy. For the past few weeks life has slowed down just a bit and I've started to think about what was missing. One of the first things that came to mind was writing. I used to write frequently. Whether or not anyone read it didn't matter much to me. What did matter was that writing is a sense of release for me. Writing gives me time to think about things, time to process things, and time to be creative. So for these reasons, I will begin to write again.

A brief update since January: (there's a lot)

Since January, I've traveled to Orlando 3 times (one week in Disney World, one week for a class, and Easter weekend with Dusty and her family.)

I completed my final semester of Divinity School and graduated in May with my Master of Divinity with concentration in Christian Education and Missions.

I began working as Minister of Youth Discipleship and Living Ministries (missions) at Good Shepherd UMC in Richmond, Virginia. This means: I packed up my Buies Creek apartment in May and moved back home.

I have taken the youth to camp at Lake Junaluska, NC and on a mission trip to Brooklyn, NY.

I went to Israel for 10 days in July. Future posts will feature pictures and stories and the things I learned.

In August, I went to Texas to visit Dusty for 5 days.

Currently, life is great in Virginia. I have so much to share and catch people up on, and that will happen in the near future.

Here's to writing! It's definitely time to start writing again.

God speaks...

2009-01-20T20:49:00.003-05:00

Some people say that God doesn't speak. Some say they can't hear God. The question is, are we listening? I hear God often. I heard him today. He blessed us with over 6 inches of beautiful, white snow. The beauty today reminded me of the simple hymn, "For the Beauty of the Earth." The first verse is:

For the beauty of the earth,
For the glory of the skies;
For the love which from our birth,
Over and around us lies;
Lord of all, to Thee we raise
This, our hymn of grateful praise.

Out of grateful praise to God, for the beauty God blessed us with, I thought I'd share some pictures

Stories

2009-01-17T23:25:00.002-05:00

When I was growing up, my parents used to tell me not to complain about my own life when I didn't know what other people were facing. There was the famous quote about "walking a mile in someone else's shoes." No matter where I turned there would be someone else facing a much worse battle than myself.

Lately, I've taken the time just to listen to other people's stories. Take for instance the manager at the local Mexican restaurant. Since I am eating there about once a week, he has learned my name and often will sit at the table and talk for a few minutes. He was in college in Mexico studying graphic design when his mom went in the hospital and he used all of his money to pay her medical bills. When he ran out of money, he moved to the states to try and make money to help support his mom and to hopefully raise enough so that he could finish his degree. He works about 82 hours a week in order to make enough money to help his family.

Just tonight, I was at Waffle House with a friend. Our waitress was talking about how she had overdrawn her bank account by $13. When the cook asked her why, she began to explain. When she graduated from school she was given $450 as gifts. Instead of being able to save it she gave it directly to her mom so she could pay the bills. When she finally got a job at Waffle House she was able to have some money of her own. She had to loan her mom money just last week and that's when her account was overdrawn.

We never know what other people are facing. As I seek to be more positive this year, I am seeking to help others. Several weeks back I cleaned out my closet and I have multiple bags of clothes to donate to those that need them. I have realized just how blessed I am, and I am seeking to follow Christ's example. I'm listening to stories and I want to help others.

New Attitude

2009-01-14T00:15:00.003-05:00

We rang in 2009 just 13 days ago. I've heard it so many times...a new year, a new way of thinking. It's a fresh start. A blank slate. New ideas, new dreams, new goals. When a new year comes people often make new years resolutions that they keep for several days, or weeks but after several months they have forgotten what they even vowed to do. Some vow to lose weight. Some want to eat healthier or exercise. Some want to better themselves. Some may want to go back to school, or to graduate, or to get better grades. There are a wide range of resolutions that can be made, and yet forgotten. In the past, I have been in the group of people who have made resolutions and kept them up for a short period of time and then not kept up.

This year I'm committed to being different. I have one commitment and it is to have a new attitude. I mentioned this in the office one day and I was reminded of the Patti LaBelle song "New Attitude." It has become somewhat of an office joke and I was even entered to sing it at karaoke tonight. I sang (but without the microphone). There are even a few dance moves that go along with the song. Each day I wake up, I sing the song, think of the words, and remember, I've got a new attitude.

All joking aside in regards to the song, I am committed to this new attitude. In order to do this I have committed to three things. First, I am committed to my relationship with God. God will give me the ability to have this new attitude. Second, I will keep a negativity journal. In this journal I write all of my negative thoughts and feelings. I write things that anger me. After each day, I'm not allowed to look back. I can only look forward. This idea was shared with me by Dr. Brock. As we talked about this journal, he shared about how writing things gives us a sense of release. For the days I've kept this journal so far, it has helped. Third, I am committed to just being more positive. There is nothing worse than a negative Nancy. I don't want to be known as that. So I will wake up on the right side of the bed. I will smile. I will encourage others. I will seek what God has in store for me each day.

With this new attitude, it doesn't mean that each day is going to be easy for me. I know that a lot of things are going to come up that will upset me or make me mad. However, with this new attitude I am committed to truly becoming a happier person. I am blessed and I need to live a life that truly shows that.

When thinking about this new way of living, several scriptures came to mind:

"with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds;and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." Ephesians 4:22-24

"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus"Philippians 2:5

We are called to have an attitude like Christ. I am determined to figure out what that looks like, feels like, and is lived live. I'm pretty sure it doesn't look like the old me. This small commitment of a new attitude will be the biggest, most positive change I can make for my life. As we journey together, hold me accountable, I'll need it.

I'll leave you with the words of Patti LaBelle:

Running hot,
Running cold,
I was running into overload,
That was extreme.

I took it so high, so low, so long,
There was no where to go like a bad dream.

Somehow that wires uncrossed,
The table were turned,
Never knew I had such a lesson to learn.

I'm feeling good from my hat to my shoe,
know where I am going and I know what to do,
I've tidied up my point of view,
I've got a new attitude.

They say it's my birthday

2008-12-10T23:04:00.002-05:00

December 10, 1982 at 6:22a.m. I was born in St. Mary's Hospital, Richmond Virginia. I was born several weeks early so I was whisked away for a check over. When the doctors had cleared me I still wasn't allowed to meet my mother. She had pneumonia. For two weeks we stayed in the hospital while she recovered. My dad came to the hospital everyday to take care of me and feed me. After two weeks, Mom and I got to go home on Christmas Eve.

Today I turned 26 years old. I don't feel any different. I was surrounded by loving co-workers all day. I got to take an afternoon nap. I received my letter from the Associate Dean for Academics congratulating me for registering for my last semester of classes (what a present!). This evening I had a home cooked meal with two good friends. It was followed by several hours of good conversation.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow at work. It's tacky sweater day in honor of my birthday. I hope to post a few pictures later.

I am thankful for yet another year of life. I have one semester left of graduate school and from there who knows. All I do know is that God continues to bless my life with love, friends, family, and memories that I will never forget.

To Return or not?

2008-11-23T21:48:00.002-05:00

Tonight my mother called, she needed my opinion. She informed me of how the business meeting at my home church went last week. Up for a vote were the proposed changes to the constitution, one of which was including females as deacons. The church had a talk-back session two weeks prior to the business meeting in order to allow for discussion.

The business meeting happened last Sunday. When it came time to vote for the constitution, a man stood up and said he wanted to talk. Technically, he wasn't supposed to because the dicussion had taken place earlier. He demanded that he be able to talk and wouldn't sit down. He said that he couldn't believe the subject of women as deacons or ministers had gotten this far. He stated that it was not biblical for women to be leaders and basically bullied everyone present for 10 minutes. He told the people that the subject of women as leaders, deacons, ministers, etc. should have never been brought up and since it had the leadership of the church was wrong, and doomed for hell.

To make it better, the FEMALE youth minister stood and talked about all the reasons that people should not vote for female deacons. How ironic?

Needless to say, the vote occurred and it wasn't passed. I believe that many people will leave the church.

Mom called to ask for my opinion. She feels like she and my father should leave the church. My father doesn't want to because he feels they have been members for 30 years and haven't been a part of the "business" of the church for some time. Mom feels torn. I told her I wasn't going back there and that on Christmas Eve, if they go I will stay home.

If you'd like to know why I haven't been going to church for some time, it's for reasons like this. Whose a man to tell me that women can't be spoken to by God? I just don't understand. You can use the Bible all you want as your reasoning, but if you study the Bible you would know that what you are using was not meant to exclude women for all these years afterward. Good grief.

I'm free because...

2008-11-11T21:22:00.003-05:00

Today is Veteran's Day. U.S. President Woodrow Wilson first proclaimed an Armistice Day for November 12, 1918. The U.S. Congress passed a concurrent resolution 7 years later. Veteran's Day was officially made a federal and state holiday on May 13, 1938. The law stated that it would be on the 11th day of the 11th month. It was created to be a day dedicated to the cause of world peace.

As I think about Veteran's, I am quickly reminded of those whom I'm close to that have served in some branch of the military. My grandfather, whom I was very close to served in WWII. He wouldn't tell me much about it when I was young, only that he served, loved his men and was disturbed by many of the sights.

As I drove around freely today, worshiped in chapel, went to work, ate dinner out I remember those who have fought for my freedom.

Whether or not we agree with the war, we should all agree to support our troops.

So on this Veteran's Day, let us remember those who have fought for us. This is the day we can honor the 24.9 million military veterans.

Once I was a pumpkin...

2008-10-29T00:25:00.005-04:00

This Friday will be October 31st. For most people that means: Halloween! I remember as a small child helping mom to pick out my costumes and getting all dressed up. I remember the costume that mom picked for me before I was old enough to help her out. I was a pumpkin. Cute as a button with the bleach blonde hair poking out from under my green hat which served as a stalk. During the early years of my trick or treating, we would go with good friends Brandon and Clay. I would go around with them in their grandmother's neighborhood and we would get as much candy as possible. We would gather back at their grandmother's for hot apple cider and we would dump our candy into piles to see who had the most or to trade for something we might like better. As my sister and I got older, we started going trick or treating with some other good friends, Brandon and Lucas. We would go all around their neighborhood and then come back and compare candy. Sometimes we would have a bonfire and make smores and other times we would just eat as much candy as we could.

However, it never failed. When we got home from trick or treating, Mom would take our candy and put it into two jars. Then it would be rationed out over time so that we didn't eat all of it at once. For the first few days it was exciting to be able to pick the candy I wanted. Then, it lost its zeal and often my jar of candy would sit for weeks or months.

I remember the simple fun we had back then. I don't remember bad things. Now, the news is full of stories about child molesters putting certain signs on their doors to keep children away. You also have to be very careful about the candy you get. Each piece must be checked to make sure that nothing has been tampered with. The other thing I hear now is that this holiday is from the devil. Most churches will not condone Halloween and will have a Fall Fest or an All Saint's Day Celebration. What's wrong with letter kids have a little Halloween fun? By the way, my second favorite holiday to decorate for is Halloween.

So, as Halloween fast approaches, let us remember the more simple times. Do you remember your favorite childhood costume? Do you remember all of the candy? What are some of your favorite memories? I sure remember the good things and not trying to stay away from child molesters or people who thought this holiday was from the devil. Whatever the case may be, I hope that whatever you do on Halloween you find joy. I'll probably be with one of my friends giving out candy to trick-or-treaters and I will love every minute of it!

It warms my heart...

2008-10-18T22:12:00.003-04:00

Last month I read an article in the Biblical Recorder about the Women's Build for Habitat for Humanity. What caught my attention was the picture of the new homeowner on the front dressed in full hijab. She and her family are Muslim and were putting in sweat equity with North Carolina Baptist women to build a new home. I was interested in how this Christian organization was working with Muslims. I hadn't thought much more about it since then, other than the fact that it was neat. The other night as I was reading online news, I found an article on fox news about Muslims working with Habitat for Humanity to build homes. The article gave me great hope for Christians working with Muslims. It's a wonderful source of encouragement as there has been so much turmoil between Christians and Muslims and now we are finding new ways to work together. Take a look at both articles and think about how you can help. It's something we can all do. Let's learn to get along and love God.

The difference an email makes...

2008-10-05T17:08:00.004-04:00

I've been pretty sad this week and had a lot going on in life. This weekend I took the time to hang out with friends and just take care of myself. On Friday evening I received an email that made me smile. It reminded me that I do have a purpose and I am following God's call.

Here's what it said:

Sara:

I know that you probably do not get thanked enough for the work that you do to help out the International students and so many others on campus. Thanks for your Christian example simply by living your life--you do make a difference and your impact extends far beyond what you may ever realize.

Have a great weekend & God Bless.

This brightened my world and reminded me that I do make a difference.

How are you making a difference?

subs...

2008-09-02T21:18:00.002-04:00

So I was laying here tonight watching the "new" 90210. I was not particularly enthralled by it, so I began to surf the web reading news and blogs. I came across the following:

IOWA CITY, Iowa -Iowa City police said a man who was driving drunk tried to bribe a police officer — with a sandwich. Police said a 25-year-old man was charged with drunken driving early Sunday morning after an officer saw him driving with his headlights off and pulled him over.

Police said the man was riding with a police officer in a squad car when he offered the officer free sub sandwiches if he could go home.

The officer declined.

Seriously???? I wonder if he offered Subway or Quizno's? That would make a difference in my world.

It reminds me of a cop joke I heard.

An old man bought a brand new sports car. He finished all the paperwork and was handed the keys. He got in and pulled out of the parking lot. When he got on the interstate his foot continued to press the gas. He was going faster and faster. He realized that he was speeding and thought about stopping, but didn't. No sooner than he took his foot off the gas, he saw blue lights in the mirror. The cop approached the car. He said to the man, "Listen sir, you were speeding quite a bit there. It is almost the end of my shift before the weekend. If you can give me a really good reason, that I've never heard for why you were going so fast I will let you go."

The man thought a minute and he said, "My wife ran away with a cop years ago. I thought you were bringing her back." The cop looked at the man and said, "Have a nice day and walked away."

I don't guess the guy is offering bribes from jail, but if he is, I'd like Subway.

While an era comes to an end, life continues

2008-09-01T23:06:00.004-04:00

Today marked my sister Margaret's 22nd birthday. I was 4 years old when she was born. She came one month early and was very sick. I remember having to go with Mom and Dad as we took her for blood transfusions and tests galore. When she finally came home, I had to get used to not being the only child anymore. After she finally arrived home, I asked if we could take her back to the hospital. I much preferred to be the only child. As we grew older, our love for each other grew. We became good friends and talked to each other about many things. Now that I live 4 hours away, I don't get to see her that often, but when I do it's like a wonderful reunion. I'm thankful for her and pray for her continued health and good life.

Today also marked the end of a 43 year era. Today was the last game of the Richmond Braves. They played the Norfolk Tides in the Richmond stadium. From what I hear, the place was packed and traffic was terrible. The score was 9-3 and the Braves played a good game. I remember going to the Diamond as a kid. Dad would take me to see games. We would also get to see fireworks. As I got older, I would go with my youth group or friends. Going to a Braves game or two was something I did every summer. As the Braves leave the area, I will always remember the good times I had at the Diamond watching the games.

No... not a flashlight

2008-08-28T22:47:00.002-04:00

Our Campus Minister, and my good friend, Faithe joined Jonathan and I behind the wall today. She was telling us about a book that she is going to have the United Campus Ministry leadership read. It has to do with evangelism and what God has called us to do. She shared that recently at her church there was a speaker about evangelism. There were about 100 people in attendance and he asked them to stand if they had had a major conversion experience. Of the 100, only 4 stood. The point that the speaker made was that most people today aren't having major conversion experiences. It is more of a journey of coming to know Christ.

As Faithe was speaking of the book she shared that she would have enough copies so that I could read one. The book is supposed to be about how to minister as you go. It's supposed to be about relationships and not about calling people out for what they don't believe or sharing the Roman Road or 4 spiritual laws etc.

As our conversation continued, I was reminded of a recent article that I read about witnessing to people of other cultures and faiths. The author said that we are called to be "salt and light" not flashlights or fires. I have truly appreciated this analogy. It reminds me of the experiences that some of my international students had last year. Throughout each month, I would be contacted by various students with a concern. They were often crying because they had been told they were going to hell. What makes it worse is that they were told that their families were going to hell.

Here these students are, far away from home trying to fit in, go to class, make friends, adjust to living arrangements and food. The last thing they need to hear is that they are going to hell. The people that are telling them this are acting as "flashlights or fires." The author of the article I mentioned earlier said that being a flashlight or fire in witnessing is like shining on a person for a moment or a short time. It is like putting a person in the spotlight and showing them all their faults and scaring them into Christianity.

Is this the way that Christ showed us? No, in fact he was light. He remained a constant light. He was salt, a seasoning that helped humankind to be even better. As Christian witnesses we are called to be salt and light. We are called to create friendships and lead by example. We are called to help others. We are not called to shine the light on someones faults, tell them they are wrong, and then leave them.

Are you living as salt and light? Let's commit to not be flashlights or fire.

Undo Me

2008-08-20T21:35:00.002-04:00

Tonight was United Campus Ministry night at Campbell. At 7p.m. students gathered in Turner Auditorium for Campus Wide Worship. This was a time to hear scripture, sing songs, pray, and reflect. Each of the seven campus ministry groups on campus participate by leading in the various aspects of the service.

I wanted to attend tonight because of the experience that I had last year at the service. I went into that service knowing that I had been questioning my beliefs and my faith. I had just returned from Egypt and it was in Egypt that I was ready to give up all of my faith in Christ. Yet God spoke to me through a friend. After returning back to the States I had a talk with my good friend Faithe Beam, the Campus Minister. She mentioned that there would be a Campus Wide Worship service and that I should consider attending. I went and kind of just went through the motions. I closed my eyes when someone prayed, I stood to sing, and I listened to the scripture, yet my heart wasn't right. During that service, a Nooma video featuring Rob Bell was shown. The video was entitled Rhythm. While I don't remember the words of the video, I do know that it changed my life. It was about how things go together and about finding faith. While viewing that video, I began to cry. When the service was over, I left there a changed person. I shared this experience with Faithe and we rejoiced together. Because of this experience, I wanted to attend tonight.

I arrived tonight with a heavy heart. I have been working for days on end and not focusing on what is important. Today was my day off and I slept until noon. I went and got a pedicure and bought a new watch. I had some "me" time. Although I felt refreshed from the day off, my heart was still heavy. As the service began, I looked around at the numerous students around me. I was surprised when they clapped after everything, from the singing of songs to the reading of scripture. As I listened to a few testimonies, I was reminded of the world travels that I have been on and the people that I have shared Christ with.

During one of the songs we were singing, I must admit that I stopped singing. I stood there wondering why I was there and figured that I wasn't going to have the same experience that I had last year. And then God spoke. The lyrics to the last hymn were put up on the screen. As I stood there I looked at them realizing that it was my favorite hymn "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing." I closed my eyes and began to sing the words by heart. This song was played at my ordination and has been a song that I have loved since about the age of 13. After we finished the song, Faithe got on stage and began to speak.

Faithe shared of her experience of turning 40 and Tom and Patrick giving her the chance to go skydiving. She equated the trust that she had to put into her skydiving guide to the trust that we need to have in fellow believers and in God. She gave the imagery of how the guide clipped himself to her to prepare for the jump out of a plane at 14,000 feet, God is clipped onto us. Just like jumping out of a plane and free falling, Faithe was attached to an experienced person that knew what to do. When we take a leap God is holding onto us. Sometimes we forget he is there, but he always is.

When I left the service, I began to think about the lyrics to my favorite hymn. "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" was written by Robert Robinson in the 18th century. Robert was just 22 when he penned the words to the hymn. Robert had a pretty interesting life. His father died when Robert was young and so he turned to recklessness and hooliganism. He had a conversion experience when he was listening to a sermon by George Whitefield. He began to repent for his sins and turned his life to following Christ. Robert became a Methodist minister following this.

As I thought of the words to this hymn, I wondered about what Robert must have been dealing with when he wrote the words. If you look up "fount" you will realize that it means"a source or origin." Basically the song says: Come thou source or origin of every blessing. When we sing this song, we are calling upon God to make his presence known, he is the source of our every blessing. In the second verse, Robinson wrote "Here I raise mine Ebenezer." If you look this up online, there are various definitions of it, usually seen as "standard." Ebenezer is also mentioned in the book of Samuel as a place of battle. Basically, the verse means, I'll raise my standard, and I will wait upon the Lord to help me through. The third verse is one that Faithe mentioned in her "talk". It says, "Prone to wander, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love." We are all going to struggle, we are all going to wander. What's important is that we have faith in God and know that even though we wander, He won't leave us, he won't give up on us.

Reflecting on the words to this hymn made me think about one other song. One of my favorite songs in my early college years was Undo Me by Jennifer Knapp. The chorus of the song says, "And it's time to get down on my knees and pray, Lord undo me. Put away my flesh and bone til you own this spirit through me Lord. Undo me." Tonight I realized that I needed to pray for the Lord to undo me. It's time to be on my knees. It's time to be in prayer. This is no time to give up. This is the time to be undone so that the light shines through.

So I pray, Come thou source of every blessing, tune my heart to sing thy grace.

People Amaze me....

2008-08-19T21:26:00.002-04:00

Today was the annual Street Fair at Campbell University. Ashley Shanlever was in charge of this event, and I helped her to plan and carry it out. We work together wonderfully as a team. This year we decided to move the time to 4 to 8p.m. We had over 100 tables filled with vendors, businesses, clubs, and local groups. It was awesome. We mailed out letters in early June inviting people to participate giving them a deadline of July 11 to register. This was so that we could receive a permit from the Fire Marshall for our event. We have to map everything out by number of tables, chairs, and electrical outlets.

By July 11, we had received many forms for groups wanting to participate. However, they continued to come in after the date. We continued to take them until we ran out of tables. We then began to allow groups to sign up to participate if they brought their own table. This didn't seem to be a problem.

However, people amaze me. I was sitting at the registration table when a local youth minister approached the table. She said, "I don't think that I registered." Knowing who she is, I said, "no, you didn't." She said, "Well what do I do?" I replied kindly, "You may secure one of the extra tables here behind me and set it up at the end of the walkway." She made a face and began to grumble. She said, "I can't be under a tree?" I said, "no, you didn't submit a form to participate today." Then she said, "well can't I find an empty table and set up?" I said, "no. There are groups that reserved these tables by July 11 and they will be here soon. I cannot give you their tables." She continued to grumble and walked away. I watched her go and set up her table. About 1 hour later I was amazed to look down and see that she was not in her spot. As I began to walk down fellowship commons, I found her about half-way down. She had taken over a table that was reserved for someone else.

As a person who is seminary trained, one would think that she would reply on time to something she wants to participate in, as well as follow the rules. she did neither. I wanted to slap her... and ask her to move back, but I didn't. To top it all off, she left early. What a way to minister to students.

People continue to amaze me.

An Update

2008-08-16T20:38:00.002-04:00

So, I haven't written in a while. I've had way too much on my mind and been way too busy to write. There have been several things that I have wanted to write about, so maybe I will get that that sooner or later.

I just thought I would update my readers. Today Welcome Week began. This means a week from you know where for me. Although I love my job, it means A LOT of hours of work. We have planned a lot of excellent events for the week, so I am excited about it. Freshmen moved in today and returning students come back tomorrow. I have about 68 new international students that I am excited to meet as well.

I begin classes at Div school on the 26th. This will begin my last year of Divinity School. I have 19 hours left to complete my degree. I'm looking forward to meeting new faces and making new friends. I'm also looking forward to graduating and moving on.

Joey has been gone for 2 weeks. I miss him a lot, but I'm holding together. I'll get to see him at Six Flags in Atlanta in just a few weeks so I am extremely happy and looking forward to that.

So, there's my update in case you've been wondering. I'll write more this week (I hope.)

$75,000...a little much I think

2008-07-23T22:58:00.003-04:00

Today I was reading the news and came across an interesting story. As I was reading it, I was reminded of a similar experience that I had in high school. It turns out that a 14 year old is suing a teacher from her high school for $75,000. Back during Valentine's the student wanted to join the choir in singing valentine grams. When she went in to ask the teacher if she could participate, the teacher supposedly called the girl "ugly" and a "brat". Then she was literally kicked out of the classroom. The school district would not comment, but I wonder what in the world was that teacher thinking? Does she not realize how much damage those comments would make in the life of that child?

While I was never physically kicked out of a classroom, I did have an experience with a teacher in the 9th grade. I was taking Spanish 2 with Sra. Rodriquez. She was a short woman, in her mid 30's and was originally from Puerto Rico. I had heard many things about her and had met her a few times so I was trying to look forward to the class.

After the first test, I hadn't done as well as I would've liked. The day she returned the tests she asked us to take out a piece of paper and wrote a letter home to our parents that would share the grade we got on our first test. While I did not fail it, it certainly was not an "A". Sra. Rodriquez waited until we wrote our letters and then she went around the classroom to sign them. When she got to me, I handed her my note to sign. She shook her head and said, "You are stupid." I thought I heard her wrong so I said, "Excuse me?" She looked me straight in the eye and said, "You are stupid."

I was less than happy at this point. I gathered my things and walked out of the classroom. She followed me into the hallway yelling something about how I couldn't leave and she would write me up. I walked into the office and requested to speak to our principal. I was denied a meeting with him so I went and sat in the guidance counselors office until that block period was over. I went home that day and spoke to both of my parent's about it. The next day, all three of us were in the principals office sharing what had happened with my teacher.

The principal brought Sra. Rodriquez in and questioned her. She said that she told me I was stupid only to challenge me to do better. She claimed it had something to do with her culture and that is the way they worked in Puerto Rico. I kindly looked at her and said, "Well, this isn't Puerto Rico. We don't tell students they are stupid here." After that meeting with the principal she was never reprimanded. My parents couldn't believe it.

One would think after that experience I would have dropped the class or gotten a different teacher. Well, I didn't. I stayed in that class to prove Sra. Rodriquez wrong. I ended up getting an "A" and on the last day of class I walked up to her and said, "See, I'm not stupid" and I walked out.

Obviously, teachers are human and don't always think about what they say. I know this from experience. While I don't think the teacher should have called the teen ugly, a brat, or physically kicked her, I think the $75,000 law suit is a little ridiculous.

Reason to get your Burqa in a wad

2008-07-14T15:56:00.003-04:00

This week as I was reading the news online, I found an article that shocked me. The article tells of a Muslim woman named Faiza who has been denied citizenship in France because she wears a burqa. A burqa is the dress of some Muslim women that covers them from head to toe, only leaving a small place for the eyes to look through. Faiza has lived in France with her husband, a French native, and their children since 2000. In 2005, Faiza applied for citizenship in France and was denied. She appealed and last month the French High Court upheld the decision and denied her citizenship. Their reason: her practice of "radical" Islam is not compatible with French values.

How does wearing a burqa make her radical? She's not out killing people. She just lives in her home, takes care of the children, and tries to be a good wife. The government in France doesn't think that she should be so submissive to her husband. The truth is, in Islam the women are supposed to be submissive to their father and husband. They are taught this through their religious beliefs. In their world, there is nothing wrong with wearing a hijab or burqa. It is about modesty.

After I read this article, I was interesting in finding out something about religious freedom in France. I did a little research and found that freedom of religion is guaranteed in France by constitutional rights set forth in 1789. There is to be separation of church and state. However, there is a law that states that students in public schools may not wear articles of religious symbolism. While this does include crosses and stars of David, etc. the people of France felt like it was against Muslim hijabs. I don't see how this law makes sense. How does that keep separation of church and state in tact?

The truth is, denying this woman citizenship over her wearing a burqa is absolutely ridiculous. It is her choice to wear that and no one else's. If the Muslims in France get their "burqa's in a wad" over this one... I think they have every right.

Freedom for a few...or for all?

2008-07-04T15:28:00.004-04:00

Today we celebrate the adoption of the Declaration of Independence that occurred on July 4, 1776. As citizens of the United States we are thankful for the freedoms that we have in this country, although I think that we often take many of them for granted.

The 4th of July as it is often called is usually celebrated with parades, food, fairs, sports games, and fireworks. The fireworks are my favorite part of the holiday. I'll be going tonight to view a fireworks show and I hope it's good.

One of the freedoms that we often take for granted comes in the form of the First Amendment. It says, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

As a small girl growing up in a Baptist church I remember that we often mentioned the freedom of religion that we have in the United States and prayed for people in other countries who don't have that same freedom. I remember discussing foreign countries that don't have this freedom and about the people who wished they lived in the USA for just that reason.

On this 4th of July, I am thankful for that freedom. This week I read an article that angered me. The article told of some Houston, Texas residents that were angered because they began finding Holy Korans on their doorsteps about two weeks ago. The Korans on the doorsteps did not anger me. The response of the recipients angered me.

The Korans have been distributed by The Book of Signs group. The group claims to have distributed 30,000 books to people. The foundation, which left the books on doormats or hanging from doorknobs, said in a note accompanying the Koran that "rather than judging Islam and Muslims by the actions of a few, we want our fellow citizens to judge us by the book that influences and guides the lives of over 1 billion Muslims.

The article reports that some people destroyed the book. One woman reports that she did not, but what she had to say is angering. "If we went into a Muslim country and left a Bible, we would be in prison and then decapitated a few years later," said Sue Ann Pieri.

Well, Ms. Pieri, this is not a Muslim country. We live in the United States of America. We are free to choose our own religion. Her statement shows her ignorance because distributing Bibles in a Muslim country has nothing to do with this Koran distribution. I wonder, what is the difference in the distribution of Korans than that of the Gideons leaving Bibles in hotel or hospital rooms or Jehovah's Witnesses going from door to door with pamphlets about their beliefs?

I really see no difference. We have freedom of religion here and I'm thankful.

Happy 4th of July!

This summer

2008-06-30T22:15:00.004-04:00

Last year at this time I was packing my bags and getting ready to leave for Egypt. I packed two huge suitcases and a carry on and made my way to Virginia. I flew out of Washington Dulles International Airport to Frankfurt, Germany. After a layover for a couple hours, I flew on to Cairo, Egypt. I spent 3 weeks in Egypt before heading back to the States to start my new job at Campbell University.

I've included a picture of a sunrise in the Sinai desert. This is a place that I watched the sunrise from the side of a desert mountain. I cried at the beauty of it and experienced the presence of God.

This summer, I didn't get to travel anywhere out of the country. So far this summer I've completed one class for 3 credits and I begin another one tomorrow. After this class is over, I'll only have 19 hours left to finish my masters degree.

While I wish I had been able to travel at least a little, I'm happy to be able to complete these classes and being closer to graduating. What have you been up to?

Things change

2008-06-02T23:16:00.003-04:00

I was sitting here tonight thinking about how things change. I moved to Buies Creek 2 1/2 years ago into the apartment I still live in today. One of my roommates was Ahunna. I've included one of the pictures we took together during my first weeks here. She'd probably kill me if she knew I was posting her picture.

We have lived together for the past 2 1/2 years. We have had our good times and our bad times. We've also had two other roommates (1 at a time) and each have had their own personality conflicts with us.

At any rate, Ahunna has been moving out over the past few weeks. Things are changing around my apartment. I am hanging new curtains, changing the furniture around and generally getting things the way I like them. Ahunna is getting married on Saturday. I'll go to her wedding to celebrate with her.

As much as I like the changes that I'm making, things won't be the same around here. Many memories have been made with Ahunna and I will always remember the times we spent together.

May we always treasure the friendships we have as the world continues to change.

The World is Full of Stupid People

2008-05-25T12:42:00.003-04:00

Everybody knows: The world if full of stupid people, so meet me at the mission at midnight and we'll divvy up there.

This is a line from the song "Banditos" by the Refreshments. I am reminded often that the world is full of stupid people. Lately as I have been reading the news online I have been reminded of that more and more.

Take for example, the Louisiana store clerk that consumed five pints of vodka while at work, fell, hurt himself and then called cops to report a "fake" robbery.

Just yesterday, the story of the Alabama parents that are claiming the middle school classes are segregated was brought to my attention. "The parents of several black junior high school students have filed a discrimination lawsuit claiming their children are subject to racial slurs and punished more harshly than white students at Monroeville Junior High School." This action was originally filed last August, but has been turned down by several lawyers. Do these parents really think they have a case? The case has been investigated and has been found to be "baseless".

Authorities in Germany have arrested a couple for a listing they made on eBay. The couple listed a 7 month old baby for sale for 1 euro or about $1.60. The baby has been removed from the home and placed in the care of Youth Services. The mother told the police that the listing on eBay was just a joke, but the people viewing it didn't. No offers were made during the 2 hours and 30 minutes that the child was up for sale, and eBay has deleted the listing from the site.

Things are a little off in New Mexico. A group there is seeking a ban on Wi-Fi signals in public buildings because they say they are allergic to wireless signals. One man claims he gets chest pains that don't go away soon enough. The city councilor says its 2008 not 1692. He says the people of Santa Fe need to embrace technology. The most stupid part of the story, I thought, was found in the last line. "The Santa Fe city attorney is checking to see if the Wi-Fi signals could be considered a form of discrimination, KOB reports." Are you kidding me?

As I was going through the news from back home in Richmond, I found the most stupid story of the week. A Petersburg, Virginia parent is suing the city School Board for $5,000 because they changed the time of her son's graduation ceremony. See HERE for yourself. The School Board changed the time of the graduation for 277 high school students from 6p.m. to 10 a.m. as they were concerned about the comfort of the attendees having to sit on metal bleachers. The mother that is suing the school board states that she had ordered 25 invitations with the old time on them with a cost of a little over $300. She is suing for $5,000 because the change in time will cause her to have to be absent from work and the change in time will cause suffering to the family because they will be unable to get off in time from work to get to the graduation. I seriously don't know how she thinks this case is going to go anywhere. The School Board held public meetings to gather input from the public about the time of the graduation. The principal of the school also met with the senior class and sent a letter home to their parents when the decision had been made. This woman's 500 signatures shouldn't make much difference, but her ignorance shows through in every facet of the story.

So as you can see, these news stories just confirm the world is full of stupid people.

Going home

2008-05-18T23:38:00.005-04:00

It's funny that my last post was about treasuring the time I spend with my parents. I woke up this morning after having an interesting night only to have a misunderstanding with my roommate. It ended with me slamming my door, showering, packing, and getting on the road. Where was I going? HOME.

After a 3 1/2 hour drive, I pulled into my driveway and this is what I saw:
While the picture turned out dark, I felt like I was in heaven being home. I hadn't seen this place in months. As I got out of the car and gathered my things, I noticed my mom on the side deck waving out to me. She was just as excited to see me as I was to be home.

This was not the house I grew up in. I grew up in the house two drives down. This is the house we moved to about 5 years ago. It is the house that my grandparents lived in for many years. I went in and looked out the back window. I looked out over the green fields and was reminded of just how much I love this place.

Tonight, I sat in the hot tub and watched the stars and the planes. When I was growing up I would sit in the yard with my dad and watch the planes go by. Some would fly north to Washington D.C. while others fly east to Richmond. Some are military planes, others are carrying hundreds of people. After counting the stars, I looked out towards the back yard. There's the barn I remember playing in as a little girl. It has been there for over 50 years. There's the jet ski, the boat, the golf cart, and random pieces of junk. As I looked at each thing in the back yard, I was reminded of stories from the past.

I rarely come home, so when I do it is like a retreat for me. I can come and go as I please. I get to talk to my parents and enjoy the conversations. However, after a few days I'm ready to leave. I'll be missing the freedom and the people I have in North Carolina. But for now, I'm happy to be home.

(Photos: first photo is of my house as I drove up this evening. second is of my mom waving at me.)

I get it...

2008-05-09T22:16:00.003-04:00

When I first accepted my job at Campbell University working with international students I was told that I needed to find ways to get to know the students and really get on their level. As I began to meet students and hear their excitement about being back in school or for being in the United States for the first time, I kept hearing something of the same tune over and over again. These students missed their parents. Each of my students comes to Buies Creek leaving behind moms, dads, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, and so on. While all students leave their families behind, international students have to leave them much further behind. As the students began to share about missing their parents I could only listen. I hadn't experienced the extreme sense of missing my family like the internationals.

Throughout the past year I have realized that I get it. I understand (to an extent) what it is like to be far away from family. While I only live 3 1/2 hours away from my family, I don't get to see them that often. It used to be that I traveled home about once a month. Now there are weeks on end between the time I see my parents and sister. The last time I went home to Virginia was in the middle of March. It's now the middle of May and I still haven't been home. However, tonight I got a special treat. My mom and dad happened to be driving through North Carolina so I got to meet them for dinner and share with them for Mother's Day and dads 53rd birthday. It was lots of fun seeing them and reconnecting.

I need to admit, I get it. I know what it's like to miss someone so much that you can't put it into words. I know what it is like to feel so far away. The talks on the phone are nice but that gets old. Sometimes you just need a hug from your mom. I guess that other than "getting it" (understanding what my students deal with) I am realizing how much I am growing up. I graduate with my master of divinity next year and after that who knows where I will end up.

Until the next time I get to see my family, I will treasure the few hours we spent together tonight.

Put a smile on your face. Laugh out Loud.

2008-05-08T16:56:00.006-04:00

I have found that when I am feeling down a good hearty laugh out loud makes me feel better. I might feel better for that moment or it may last and help me to get over the situation all together. The thing about me is that I don't laugh out loud often enough. I laugh on the inside, holding things in. I'm told that you can really know when I think something is funny because I do in fact let out a good hearty laugh.

As I was thinking about laughing, I remembered that my church history professor at the beginning of the semester said something about the importance of laughter. She talked about how it was contagious and how good laughter is for your health. Out of nowhere she started to laugh. She had a glow on her face. She was right, it was contagious. The classroom started to fill with laughter as the various students sat there and laughed.

My professor was right. Laughter is good for our health. "The sound of roaring laughter is far more contagious than any cough, sniffle, or sneeze. Humor and laughter can cause a domino effect of joy and amusement, as well as se t off a number of positive physical effects. Humor and laughter strengthen our immune systems and help us recover from illness, as well as bring joy into our lives."
Helpguide.org provides much information on the benefits of laughter. Not only does laughter help our emotional health, it can also have numerous benefits on our physical health from lowering blood pressure to preventing heart disease.

I realized today that lately I have been surrounded by negative people. When I'm surrounded by negative people I become negative. Instead of having a positive outlook on life I am finding myself being negative about most things. Today I was called by a negative person. I listened to her and then when were finished I got off the phone and started to laugh. I realized that everything she was complaining about was out of my hands and I could do absolutely nothing about it. As I was laughing she called back. She called to complain again and get my advise. I told her that it was her issue and she needed to figure out how to handle it. When we hung up again, I smiled. Look what laughter can do. For a moment, I feel better (and healthier).

So tell a joke, watch a comedian, or just laugh for no other reason than to laugh. It will make you feel better.

Reality

2008-04-26T18:15:00.004-04:00

So reality is beginning to set in. Please don't ask me how I am going to get through this summer...because only God knows.

On May 12 my best friend will graduate from Divinity School. She will be moving later that week to Forest City, North Carolina. That is approximately 4 hours away from me. I'm devistated. She is not only my best friend, she is my sister. Over the past 2 1/2 years she has become my family. I'm going to miss having her so close. It's gonna be tough.

During the months of June and July I will be taking two classes at the Divinity School. After this summer I have 19 hours left to finish my Master of Divinity. While that is exciting, something else is going to happen in July that I'd rather not think about. My boyfriend will be moving back to Alabama, 9 hours away.

So..reality has set in. Life is going to change right before my eyes. And only God knows how I'm gonna get through it.

Baptist’s Today and Beyond

2008-04-19T10:49:00.001-04:00

“In 2009, Baptists will celebrate a huge 400th birthday party. Born in 1609, they began, as all infants, struggling to survive. Today, however, Baptists number 43 million people in over 200 countries in every continent of the world. Hassled, heckled, and persecuted both in England and America in the seventeenth century, Baptists of the twenty-first century have become the largest Protestant denominational family in North America. Baptists have come a very long way!”[1]

Many Baptist denominations still exist today. The Cooperative Baptist Fellowship is continuing to grow and thrive. The Fellowship is determining where the future is going to lead and how the Fellowship as Baptist leaders will lead into the future.

In 2008, Jimmy Carter sponsored the meeting of the New Baptist Covenant Celebration. With an estimated 12,000 to 15,000 participants, this meeting was historic. It was historic in the sense that it was the first time that African American and White Baptists had come together for worship and for planning for the future. While the details of what will come out of this meeting are still being determined, it was interesting to be a part of something so new and so fresh.

At a recent meeting with a CBF administrator, we asked what was the future of CBF? Her answer was, “What do you want it to be?” So as a challenge, let us think about what we want Baptists to be. Baptists will continue to grow and thrive and to follow the scripture and to live for religious freedoms. Baptists will always have unity and diversity because we have the freedom to choose and believe as we wish to. So the question remains, as a Baptist, what do you believe and where do you want Baptists to be in the next generation?

[1] Baptist History and Heritage Society, Turning Points in Baptist History by Walter Shurden, 2001. Available from http://www.centerforbaptiststudies.org/pamphlets/style/turningpoints.htm Internet: Accessed 6 April 2008.

Baptist's in the 20th Century

2008-04-19T10:44:00.001-04:00

Denominational development, controversy, reorganization and incredible growth characterized Baptist life in the United States during the nineteenth century. Despite much turmoil, the Baptist population grew rapidly. By 1900, nearly 4.2 million Americans identified themselves as Baptists, and that number would continue to grow.[1] As Everett C. Goodwin noted, the twentieth century would truly be a “Baptist century,” and by “century’s end, Baptists would imprint their style, their values, and even their quarrels on much of the nations consciousness.”[2]

In the early years of the twentieth century, Baptists in the United States sought ways to work together and to unite with other Baptist groups worldwide. The desire for unity among Baptists was most clearly evident in the formation of the Baptist World Alliance (BWA) in 1905.

During the twentieth century, Southern Baptists experience significant numerical and institutional growth. They also increased their worldwide influence, and dealt with several denominational controversies. The growth can be seen in the number of Southern Baptist churches that were present. In 1900, there were only two Southern Baptist churches outside of the south. By 1972, the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) had churches in all fifty states. The organization of SBC churches outside of the south led to renewed conflict between Northern and Southern Baptists. The two groups tried to meet on several occasions and iron out rules to deal with conventions in the States. Ultimately, each time the agreements failed because the Southern Baptists did not hold up to the agreements.

Baptists in the twentieth century have faced many trials. There have been many issues to deal with from what to believe to who should be in charge. Perhaps one of the most popular controversies that are discussed today is the Fundamentalist-Moderate controversy or the fundamentalist takeover. “Two factions, Fundamentalists and Moderates, polarized the SBC from 1979-1990. While the war at the national SBC level between the rival parties ended in 1990, the fallout still persists.”[3] With numerous antecedents, the conflict began on 12-14 June, 1979, at the annual meeting of the SBC in Houston, Texas. Three fundamentalist leaders emerged prominently at that meeting and skillfully guided the Fundamentalists to triumph over the Moderates for twelve years. Those three were Paige Patterson, Paul Pressler, and Adrian Rogers. Beginning in the spring of 1979, Pressler and Patterson designed and announced a ten-year plan whereby Fundamentalists could gain political control of the Southern Baptist Convention. They garnered a following by proclaiming that “liberalism” had invaded the entire denominational system and they discovered that they could use the appointive powers of the SBC presidency and thereby dominate the denomination.[4]

Following the 1979 election of Adrian Rogers as SBC president, all of the seven presidents through the election of 1990 were Fundamentalists who used their powers to achieve the fundamentalist agenda by stacking the boards of all trustee agencies, something never done in SBC history. By 1990, hardliners dominated nearly ever SBC agency. Throughout all of this the fundamentalist rallying cry was the inerrancy of the Bible. In all of this, the Fundamentalists want you to believe that they believed the Bible and the Moderates did not. That was wrong and is wrong all though there are evident differences in the way the two parties read the Bible. The two parties have contended over the inerrancy issue and how the Bible is to be interpreted.

Theologically, they wrangled over the role of women and pastoral authority. Fundamentalists insisted on the hierarchy of male-female relationships and denied a woman’s right for ordination to the ministry or the diaconate. Moderates, more egalitarian, advocated equality between women and men and affirmed ordination for women. Fundamentalists stated that with pastoral authority the pastor is to “rule” the church. Moderates believed that this was contrary to what the Bible teaches as well as what Baptists have believed since their beginning. Educationally, the two parties argued over almost every facet of theological education. Much of the heat focused on theological seminaries especially Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary and Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. Before the battle was over, both of these institutions were firmly in the grasp of fundamentalist control and undergoing radical transformation under fundamentalist presidents. As with other issues, the fundamentalists and moderates disagreed on everything from ethics, missiology, and politics.[5] These were the two sides and there was a nasty war in the middle.

Moderates did not want to give up. After a decade of losing they were exhausted. They quit the politics of the SBC. They continued, however, a process that had begun as early as 1983, creating their own structures. One of these structures was the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship which began in August of 1990. The birth (of the CBF) came about when a group of Baptists separated from the SBC following a decade of heated controversy. The moderates fought back. They worked to get the vote. In 1990, moderates mounted one last effort at the SBC meeting in New Orleans, nominating Daniel Vestal as president. Despite a six week campaign tour, Vestal gained only 42 percent of the vote and was defeated.[6]

Just two months after his defeat, Vestal called for a meeting of moderate Baptists in Atlanta, Georgia. Expecting several hundred to participate, leaders were surprised when over 3,000 participants showed up. This began the planning and implementation of the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship that is a growing and thriving fellowship in today’s Baptist world.

[1] Durso, Pamela R. and Keith Durso. The Story of Baptists in the United States. (Tennessee: Baptist History and Heritage Society: 2006)149.

[2] Ibid.

[3] Shurden, Walter B. Not a Silent People. (Georgia: Smyth and Helwys: 1995) 84.

[4] Ibid. 85.

[5] Ibid. 89.

[6] Durso, Pamela. A Short History of the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship Movement. (Tennessee: Baptist History and Heritage Society: 2006) 4.

What do Baptists Believe?

2008-04-19T10:34:00.004-04:00

“What makes a Baptist a Baptist? The ultimate and final answer, of course, is simple: membership in a local Baptist church… But there are all kinds of Baptist groups and Baptist churches! So what are the spiritual and theological marks of a Baptist? What are the distinctive, convictions or ideals that Baptists rally around and that make a Baptist a Baptist?”[1] Winthrop Hudson, one of Baptist’s best historians and keenest twentieth century interpreters, noted correctly that pioneer Baptists of seventeenth century England did not set out to identify “Baptist distinctive.” Their concern was instead to be faithful and obedient Christians.

Dr. Walter Shurden’s book The Baptist Identity: Four Fragile Freedoms outlines the four basic beliefs that Baptists have. He said that he arrived at these Baptist Freedoms by analyzing the sermons and addresses given from around the world and at the Baptist World Alliance from 1905 to 1980. He outlines the following four freedoms:

Bible Freedom is the historic Baptist affirmation that the Bible, under the Lordship of Christ, must be central in the life of the individual and church and that Christians, with the best and most scholarly tools of inquiry, are both free and obligated to study and obey the Scripture.

Soul Freedom is the historic affirmation of the inalienable right and responsibility of every person to deal with God without the imposition of creed, the interference of clergy, or the intervention of civil government.

Church Freedom is the historic Baptist affirmation that local churches are free, under the Lordship of Christ, to determine their membership and leadership, to order their worship and work, to ordain whom they perceive as gifted for ministry, male or female, and to participate in the larger body of Christ, of whose unity and mission Baptists are proudly a part.

Religious Freedom is the historic Baptist affirmation of freedom OF religion, freedom FOR religion, and freedom FROM religion insisting that Caesar is not Christ and Christ is not Caesar.[2]

Shurden also shared from a document issued by the Baptist Heritage Commission of the Baptist World Alliance in 1989 at Zagreb, Yugoslavia (now Croatia). Entitled “Towards a Baptist Identity,” the statement was deliberately descriptive rather than creedal. He used the five summary statements from this document in his book. They are as follows:

Baptists are:

i. -members of the whole Christian family who stress the experience of personal salvation
through faith in Jesus, symbolized both in baptism and the Lord’s Supper;

ii. -those who under the Lordship of Jesus Christ have bonded together in free local congregations, together seeking to obey Christ in faith and in life;

iii. -those who follow the authority of Scriptures in all matters of faith and practice;

iv. -those who have claimed religious liberty for themselves and all people;

v. -those who believe that the Great Commission to take the Gospel to the whole world is the responsibility of the whole membership.[3]

It is interesting to note that Shurden made a distinction by writing that this was more description than creedal. William Tuck wrote in his book a section on creeds and why Baptists are opposed to them. Tuck wrote, “As Baptists, we have never believed that creeds should be imposed on others.”[4] As Baptists, we sometimes have used affirmations or confessions of faith, but these are not to be viewed as creeds. According to Tuck, creeds have always had limitations and inadequacies. “As Baptists, we affirm that no theological statement is ever final or complete. No one person or group of persons can formulate our theology for us and say that this is what we have to believe. Our forefathers and mothers have fought and died for this free tradition.”[5]

“If Baptists experience a rebirth of commitment to Bible Freedom, Soul Freedom, Church Freedom, and Religious Freedom, they would not only rediscover their roots and their identity, they would become prophetically relevant to the world today.”[6] Baptists have the freedom to believe and to worship as they wish. Baptists are surrounded by freedoms but with those freedoms come responsibility. The responsibility is to have authentic faith. Speak what you know and let your actions match your words. Shurden closes The Baptist Identity with the following statement: “The historical Baptist identity, therefore, has been chiseled primarily from freedom rather than control, voluntaryism rather than coercion, individualism rather than a ‘pack mentality,’ personal religion rather than proxy religion, and diversity rather than uniformity.”[7]

[1] Shurden, Walter B. The Baptist Identity: Four Fragile Freedoms. (Georgia: Smyth and Helwys: 1993) 1.

[2] Ibid. 4-5.

[3] Ibid. 5-6.

[4] Tuck, William Powell. Our Baptist Tradition. (Georgia: Smyth & Helwys, 1993)22.

[5] Ibid. 19.

[6] Shurden, Walter B. The Baptist Identity: Four Fragile Freedoms. (Georgia: Smyth and Helwys: 1993)55.

[7] Ibid. 59.

Coming to America

2008-04-19T10:26:00.003-04:00

Only thirty years after John Smyth and Thomas Helwys organized the first Baptist church in Amsterdam, the first Baptist baptismal service in America took place.[1] Sometime in early 1639, a group of about twenty believers gathered for worship in Providence, Rhode Island. This group had studied the New Testament and had rejected infant baptism. They concluded that only believers who had professed their faith were to be baptized. They also decided that magistrates should not have control over religious convictions or practices.

Having committed themselves to these Baptist beliefs, the group and their leader decided that the time had come to hold a baptismal service. Their leader was Roger Williams. A fellow believer, Ezekiel Holliman, performed the baptism of Williams and then Williams baptized the other believers.[2] This group had ended up in Rhode Island because of the General Courts appeal to Williams to give up his Separatist and Anabaptist beliefs that were like those of John Smyth.[3] Instead of giving up his beliefs, Roger Williams moved to Providence, Rhode Island with the intent to live in a colony with religious freedom. This place became a haven for those seeking this freedom. The colony’s charter was granted in 1663 and it guaranteed that all citizens could exercise and enjoy “all their civil and religious rights.”[4] During the early years of this colony most of the settlers could be described as Separatists. However, in early 1639, Williams and his followers embraced the New Testament teachings that they had been studying. Williams did not remain a Baptist long. Despite his departure, the Baptist church in Providence survived.

A few years after the formation of this first church, a second Baptist church was formed in Newport, Rhode Island. The Newport church had as its leader, John Clarke. He was born in England and baptized as an infant. He was trained as a physician but was also knowledgeable in law and theology. His Separatist views led him to move his family to New England to escape the influence of the state church. Many historians view Clark as the Father of American Baptists. After the English government granted the charter for Rhode Island the dream of Williams and Clarke had come true. The Baptist Churches in American did begin to sprout up in other colonies, but slowly. Following Rhode Island, Baptists could be found in Massachusetts, Connecticut and Maine. Following were New Hampshire and Pennsylvania. Many of the first Baptists in these colonies were women.[5]

The Middle Colonies did not suffer from the religious intolerance that the New England colonies did. Pennsylvania was the first to have Baptist churches. The first permanent Baptist Association was established in Philadelphia in 1707 when five small churches banded together. Churches in the south also formed. A Baptist church in South Carolina was formed in Charleston when a minister from Maine moved his congregation to get away from the Indian raids. The second Southern colony where a Baptist church was established was Virginia. Virginia Baptists ended up making a plea to the General Baptists in England for help asking them to send qualified clergy. Their request was made over and over. Finally two men were sent and one died in route. The other, Robert Norden formed the Prince George church and they were a General Six Principle Baptist church which was based on the six principles found in Hebrews 6:1-2.[6]

Baptists beliefs slowly spread throughout the colonies and Baptist churches gradually were formed. For about one hundred years Rhode Island served as a major center for Baptists, and until 1750 Baptists in that colony outnumbered Baptists in any other colony.[7] The theological differences among Baptists in early America were most clearly evidenced by the number of Baptist groups that formed from 1639 to 1750. At least eleven Baptist groups organized during that period. [8]

Baptists continued to grow and form congregations all over the colonies. As is evidenced in the number of Baptist groups that were organized, groups could form based on any kind of beliefs and principles, however the one key truth that all Baptist’s believe in is that of believer’s baptism. This is still the strongest belief that holds Baptists together today.

(Photo Credit: Roger Williams: http://www.stockton.edu/~gilmorew/0colhis/v1nwen2.htm)

[1] Durso, Pamela R. and Keith Durso. The Story of Baptists in the United States. (Tennessee: Baptist History and

Heritage Society: 2006) 25.

[2] Ibid.

[3] Ibid. 28.

[4]Ibid. 29.

[5] Ibid. 36.

[6] Ibid. 39.

[7] Ibid. 40.

[8] Ibid.

In the Beginning

2008-04-19T10:12:00.007-04:00

I will be completing a series of blogs on the history of Baptists. This is to complete the requirements for my Church History class. In each church history class we are to complete a PEICH (Plan for Eliminating Ignorance of Church History). This semester, I have decided to complete a series of blogs on the topic of the history of Baptists. I have decided that this is a topic that Baptists themselves know very little about. Therefore, in the following entries I will present historical information and facts. I hope that the blogs are informative as well as fun to read.

In the Beginning…
Bill Tuck said, “Baptists have a rich and wonderful heritage. But I have discovered through listening and reading that many persons in our Baptist churches are unfamiliar with this legacy.”[1] I grew up in a small Baptist church and learned about many missionaries, heard many Bible stories, and listened to many sermons. However, I never learned about the history of the Baptists. I have called myself a Baptist for all these years but I truly never knew what it meant to be Baptist. This is the case for most Baptists. I could ask the oldest member of the church or the youngest, and for the most part, neither would know much about Baptist history.

Sometime in late 1608 or early 1609, a group of English Christians gathered for worship in Amsterdam, Holland. They met in their regular place of worship, which was a bakehouse owned by a wealthy Mennonite. This was not a regular worship service, however. This was the group’s first baptismal service in which each person to be baptized was an adult who had confessed belief in Jesus Christ. No one in this group had experience with believer’s baptism. They had all been baptized as infants in the Church of England. The leader of the group was Mr. John Smyth. He suggested that he baptize himself and then baptize the others. After baptizing himself he baptized the others by pouring water over their heads. And so began the first Baptist church in history.[2]

This small group of Baptists was committed to the belief that church membership should be based on a personal confession of faith followed by believer’s baptism. This was a radical belief since at the time all citizens of England were required to be members of the Church of England and have their baptisms as infants. Since they were refusing to be members of the Church of England and to abide by the interpretations and theology of the Church of England, they were subject to fines, whippings, and imprisonments.[3] Members of this newly formed Baptist church in Amsterdam were English citizens. They did not want to follow the Church of England so the group, along with its leaders John Smyth and Thomas Helwys, fled for Amsterdam.

Little information is known about these earliest Baptists. The exact number who participated in the baptismal service is unknown as well. This much is certain: Smyth and Helwys served as able leaders of the group. Smyth was originally a part of a group of Separatists. When his group was fleeing England, Helwys partially funded their passage to Amsterdam. Eventually, he began to believe the things this group did and joined with his wife. While in Amsterdam, Smyth’s congregation encountered Dutch Mennonites, who advocated religious liberty and baptized believers only.[4] We do not know how much these Mennonites influenced Smyth but we do know that sometime in 1608 or 1609 his religious views shifted once again. After he had been studying the Bible and committing himself to New Testament teachings as closely as possible, Smyth concluded that the true church should be made up of believers who professed their faith publically and then were baptized. Based on this new understanding, Smyth asserted that his Separatist church was not a true church. In 1609 Smyth wrote The Character of the Beast and he not only attacked the practices and teachings of the Church of England and of Separatist churches; he also affirmed his own new commitment to believer’s baptism. All of these new understandings led to the congregation’s baptismal service that was previously explained.

Eventually, Smyth began to question his own self baptism and his beliefs about the true church. He came to believe that he should have allowed the Mennonites to baptize him. He soon repudiated his baptism and asked the other members to do the same. Thirty one members, fourteen men and seventeen women, followed Smyth in renouncing their baptisms, and requested membership in the local Mennonite community. Smyth’s ultimate attempt to join this group failed because he died during the summer of 1612. Eventually the Mennonite group granted membership to the others.[5] However, during this process, Helwys and about ten others of the new Baptist church refused to renounce their baptisms and excommunicated Smyth from the group. Shortly after the break with Smyth, Helwys wrote several documents defending the actions of his group, including a confession of faith. A Declaration of Faith of the English People Remaining at Amsterdam in Holland was released as their confession of faith. During this time, Helwys began to feel guilty for leaving England in the first place to escape the persecution. In 1612, Helwys, along with his few church members, sailed home to England. This group settled near London and established the first Baptist church on English soil. It continued as it had in Amsterdam to baptize new believers. Shortly after arriving in England, Helwys published A Short Declaration of the Mystery of Iniquity, which was the first document written in English that called for complete freedom of conscience in matters of religion. Smyth asserted that the king of England had no power to control the religious beliefs of the people.[6]

Smyth ended up being jailed after sending a copy of this document to King James. He remained in jail and died there sometime before 1616. The Baptist faith did not die with him. Other leaders stepped in to lead and despite the opposition of the Church of England and the persecution by the government, the small group of Baptists began to grow and organize new churches. Those who had adopted Helwys’s beliefs came to be identified as General Baptists because of their belief that Christ died for all people and that all who believe in Jesus Christ can be saved. These beliefs reflected those of Jacob Arminius, making the General Baptists “Arminians.” About twenty-five years after the Helwys church returned to England, a new group of Calvinist Baptists called Particular Baptists, organized. This group did not split off from the General Baptists, they emerged separately sometime in the 1630’s. The theology of the Particular Baptists was based on Calvin. From Calvin came the belief that Christ died for a particular group of people-the elect, whom God had chosen or predestined before the foundation of the world. By 1638, these two distinct groups of Baptists existed in England. While both Baptist traditions made their way across the ocean to America, the theology of the Particulars became prominent in England and also became dominant among Baptists in America.[7]

[1] Tuck, William Powell. Our Baptist Tradition. (Georgia: Smyth & Helwys, 1993) ix.

[2] Durso, Pamela R. and Keith Durso. The Story of Baptists in the United States. (Tennessee:
Baptist History and Heritage Society: 2006) 13.

[3] Ibid.

[4] Ibid. 16.

[5] Ibid. 18.

[6] Ibid. 20.

[7] Ibid. 23

(Photo credit: fellowship meeting 17th century www.google.com)

Daydreaming...

2008-04-07T22:14:00.003-04:00

I have seen a lot of news stories lately about bus accidents. They may be due to the bus drivers mistakes or something may have happened to the driver. A few weeks back there was a story of a girl who took over the wheel of the bus and got it stopped. The people on the bus did not suffer life threatening injuries. However, the girl who saved the bus got in trouble because it was determined that she was skipping school. After that story, I read one about a teacher having to take over the wheel of the bus when the driver passed out.
Just today I saw a new story about another accident. In this case the driver had stopped the bus to refuel and use the bathroom. After refueling the bus the driver went to use the bathroom. While using the facilities the bus stared to roll down hill. A child took over the wheel and tried to stop the bus. The bus was stopped by steering it into a bridge pillar. The children jumped out of the side of the bus. Initially I had a question of why the driver left the busy in the first place. The children should have never been left alone.

As I have been thinking about these bus situations I remembered the daydreams I used to have when I was in middle school. I rode bus 126. My driver from 6th to 8th grades was named Barbara Edwards. She was a very old lady (I often thought she was too old to be driving.) She attended my church and knew my parents. Usually I sat on the front seat of the bus. I didn't have many friends on the bus so I would usually sit there and watch how she drove the bus. I watched her shift gears, turn on the lights, put out the stop sign and open the door. I had it down. I often wondered what would happen if she ever passed out. I felt assured that I could take over driving the bus and get it pulled over. I never told anyone of my daydreams because I hoped it would never happen. But secretly I thought I would be able to handle the situation. Thankfully it never happened to me and thankfully the children from the accident today will be ok.

Say...

2008-04-06T22:32:00.003-04:00

Over the past few days, I've been hearing John Mayer's song Say on the radio quite a bit. You might have heard it or even remember hearing it at the end of the movie "Bucket List." I've taken a liking to this song, I've been listening to it over and over. The last verse of this song has an inspiring message. It says:

Even if your hands are shakin'
and your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closin'
Do it with a heart wide open
A wide heart
Say what you need to say

Each time I've heard this song, I've been reminded of something I needed to say. I've composed a list of some of those things. While I will never be able to include all of the things I "need" to say, these are the ones that came to mind as the most important.

-To the homeless man that resides on the corner of Main and Cherry Streets in downtown Richmond, thank you for the smile that you gave me each day that I attended college. You were always there. Even if I spoke or didn't speak, if I gave you a dollar or nothing at all, you gave me a smile. You will never know what that smile meant to me. Some days that was the only smile I saw.

-To the college history professor that didn't give up on me, thank you. You saw something in me that I didn't see in myself. You didn't let me give up. You encouraged me, you guided me, and most of all you offered me your friendship. I'll be finished with that Masters degree in two semesters that I sat in your office and dreamed about. Thank you.

-To a mother and father who have changed my life. One never realizes how much someone means to them until they are separated. I've caused troubles, cost you money, made you smile, helped you, and loved you. However, I'm not sure you know how much you mean to me.

-To the Administrative Assistant to the Associate Dean, thank you. You always put a smile on my face, you make me laugh, and you listen to me. While we may not always have the answers to help each other out, we listen. I'm thankful for your friendship, love, and support. You are AWESOME.

-To the greatest gift that I could have ever received at the Divinity School, I'm thankful for you. No matter what you have been a true friend. A person who cares about me, who has not given up on me, and who loves me. When I was going in the wrong direction, you told me. You revealed to me how God was speaking. You had the courage to SAY what you needed to say. Your friendship means the world to me. So to you, Laura R. I say thank you.

As I sit here in tears, I can think of many more people I need to "say" things to. If I said them all in this blog it would go on forever. Since I can't say them all here, I have a challenge to share with you: Whatever circumstances you find yourself in, may you say what you need to say.

Shall we dance (around the issue that is)

2008-03-31T17:07:00.003-04:00

Last week we had a brown bag lunch with several of the National CBF (Cooperative Baptist Fellowship) staff at school. One of the persons there was part of CBF Administration. She was to lead a discussion with us about CBF and about the New Baptist Covenant. As you may remember, I attended the New Baptist Covenant Celebration meeting at the end of January. I have posted other blogs about this topic but it has been brought back into my attention since the meeting last week.

Periodically I receive emails from the New Baptist Covenant stating what the movement is doing. I received on on March 20. This was the handout that was given to us in the lunch meeting.

The woman leading the talks did nothing but dance around the issues. Several students posed questions and made statements about the meetings. The woman didn't answer them. She could hardly even talk about them. On the issue of homosexuality she looked at the student and said, "I've heard that before. I'll take that back with me." Clearly she either didn't want to answer our questions or she didn't know how to answer them.

After reading the email statement from March 20, I was quickly reminded again of the movements talk of diversity. While this meeting was historic because it was the first time that white and black Baptists had come together I felt that it was quite contrived. As I have stated in previous posts, I wonder what would have happened if the meeting had been held in a different place at a different time. The New Baptist Covenant was planned to take place at the end of the National Baptists meeting that was taking place in Atlanta. This would allow for many African American Baptists to attend. So my question is, would that many people have attended otherwise?

Speaking of diversity, remember the lunch meeting I mentioned? As I sat in that room with people who were supposed to be discussing the New Baptist Covenant, I looked around. Surprise, Surprise! There were no African American students present. Where was the diversity in that room? I'm not sure, but it certainly wasn't present.

The email from March 20 gave an overview of what the movement is focusing on now in the in between time. There were 11 points mentioned. These range from evangelism and poverty to global warming and separation of church and state. In the final point, the leaders made suggestions for enhancing the effectiveness of the New Baptist Covenant movement.

There are talks that this movement is going to become a triennial movement which will meet every 3 years. That means that in 2011 there will be another. Will it be purposely planned around the National Baptist meeting so that the term diverse can be used? Or will it be planned around the National CBF meeting and it be a bunch of white folks? Whatever the case may be, I can only look forward to the future. I don't t know what will happen. I don't understand all that has been planned. I can only pray for the leaders and try and determine how I, as one person, can be involved.

Life is Precious

2008-03-24T23:00:00.005-04:00

On Sunday morning, I went to celebrate Easter at Mt. Olivet Baptist Church in Beaverdam, Virginia. This is the church that I grew up in. We arrived at 10:40 as the service was scheduled to begin at 10:45. There was no where to sit downstairs so we made our way to the balcony. The choir led the church in a beautiful cantata which was followed by our pastor's Easter sermon. We found ourselves proclaiming "Christ the Lord is Risen. He is risen indeed!" This was a meaningful service and spoke to me more than I realized at the time I was sitting there.

As the service was beginning, our family friends arrived. Brandon insisted on sitting on the front row of the balcony. He really shouldn't sit there because of his epilepsy. However, since the service had already started his parents allowed him to sit there so that he wouldn't cause a scene. Brandon is not only epileptic, he is mentally handicapped and doesn't always know how to handle situations. Brandon and I have grown up together. He is 24 years old, yet he is on the level of a 5 to 7 year old. He is epileptic and has a seizure nearly every day. In January 2008 he had 29 seizures.

During the service I could tell that he wasn't himself. He was singing when he shouldn't be, he was speaking out and then he began hallucinating. It was very sad for me to watch as he thought that he had bugs coming out of his skin. After the service, he left and went out into the parking lot. As is the norm we were all standing in front of the church talking. After at 15 minutes we were being called over to across the parking lot. Brandon had followed a family to their car. In the meantime, he began to seize and fell out. He hit his head on the pavement and the family had no idea what to do. My father was the first to get over to Brandon. He held his head while I ran over with his mother and father. The pastor called for a nurse. We know that if we leave Brandon to sit he will pass out for 45 minutes to an hour. We had to get him in the van right away. It took 6 men to lift Brandon and get him in their vehicle. Brandon doesn't like to be moved and begins to scream out. Only this time, he was screaming, "Ouch". We weren't sure if he was hurt internally. By this point, many of us were crying because of the severity of the seizure.

We know that Brandon won't get better. He has had so many seizures that it has caused a lot of brain damage. When he begins to seize he just drops out. He has fallen through the oven door at his house, fallen through the bathroom wall, and fallen into a counter and knocked his teeth out. The doctors have told his parents that they there is nothing they can do. Brandon is not a candidate for surgery because the seizures are not coming from a part of the brain that can be operated on. The end result is a Grand Mal seizure that will kill him. Brandon is such an innocent soul and it is so hard to see him in this shape.

After spending the evening at home on Easter evening, I found out that one of my friend's had lost her husband on Saturday. He was rock climbing and fell 180 feet to his death. They had been married three years.

Life is precious. Christ died and arose for all of us. Let us not take anything for granted. We are blessed beyond measure and we often don't realize this until bad things happen. I am not sure why Brandon has these seizures or why my friend had to lose her husband. But I do know that Christ is here for all of us. As we celebrate the risen Christ let us remember that life is precious. It is a gift. Don't take it for granted.

That's not Welch's

2008-03-21T23:29:00.003-04:00

On Thursday, at 10:40 a.m. the Campbell Divinity School family gathered together for a Maundy Thursday service. This is a time to celebrate the Last Supper which Christ served to his disciples on the night before he was crucified.

As I entered the gathering place I noticed that the pulpit and communion table were covered in purple, the liturgical color for Holy Week. The communion table was set with gold plates and centered at the front of the room.

We were led through a service of scripture reading, singing, and reflecting. We had a time of prayer and centering before communion was served.

The bread comes first, just as when Christ served the bread. We are to take, eat and always do it in remembrance of Him. When the bread came around I took my piece. It was a nice square of sandwich bread.

After the eating of the bread, we took of the cup. We were each served our little cup of juice. As my professor sat in front of me, I noticed I could basically see through his cup. When I looked around, I noticed on the back table a loaf of Food Lion sandwich bread and a bottle of juicy juice. And it hit me, someone took the cheap route for communion. While I know it should not matter what brand the communion elements are, I do think we shouldn't go cheap. Personally, I am embarrassed for the person who purchased those items.

After having this experience and reacting to the cheap bread and juice the way I did, I was told about the Jesus Movement in the late 60's and early 70's. On beaches in California persons were served communion, only the elements were potato chips and pepsi cola. Personally, I think that is a little far out, I believe that Christ set the example of this communion meal by serving bread as a symbol for his body and wine as a symbol for his blood.

Like I said, the brand of the elements should not matter, but this just hit me the wrong way. Here we are to worship and to remember the sacrifice that Christ made of his own body by dying on the cross for us. Since Christ made the sacrifice for us, why can't we spend a few extra dollars on the communion elements? When I take communion, I shouldn't find myself thinking about the cheapness of the elements. I should be remembering the significance of what Christ did on that cross 2000 years ago.

I've hit that point...

2008-03-18T20:56:00.002-04:00

In case you haven't noticed my absence, I've been a little busy. Well, a lot busy. Things in life have been hectic to say the least. Between school, work, family, and trying to have a life, I don't have much time for anything at all really.

As the title hints, I've hit that point. You may ask, "what point?" Well, to be honest, I've hit the point where I just don't care anymore. I really am tired of school. I am tired of tests, papers, going to class...well really anything that has to do with it. While I enjoy most of the people there I find that school would be much better for me if I could just go and hang out. Instead it takes most of my time and quite frankly, I'm tired of it. I keep telling myself I have just two more semesters and I can do this, but some days I just don't want to. I'm dreaming of the day when I am finished with all of this and I can have a real job.

Other than that, I'm doing ok. Work is keeping me busy. The internationals are my passion. I've been excited to hang out with them lately and to plan events for them. It is what I was hired to do and what I enjoy doing.

I'm really ready for May to get here. I need a break and I need it fast.

Just another little piece of my mind

2008-02-27T21:19:00.004-05:00

Tonight Joey sent me a link for a news story that I hadn't heard about. It seems that Harvard University has made the decision to close one of it's athletic facilities for several hours a week so that only females can work out during those times. As I read the short article I was intrigued and wanted to find more. After going to google, I simply searched for "Harvard women only gym hours." In all the articles I read, I couldn't find a listing for the actual hours.(I did finally find the hours listed in one of the blogs quoted below). What I did find was articles that had quotes from male students who were not happy. I found blogs written by people who had many negative things to say about Muslim women, and Islam in general. I immediately thought, if the men don't like it they should ask for male only hours.

I finally found the article that was in the Harvard Newspaper. The article shared about the implementation of the female only hours as well as some of the reasoning for it. While the article listed here is an opinion article, it did include many facts. However, the opinion writer did share many things that I feel were jaded. For instance, the writer feels that the new policy shows a readiness to put minority interests ahead of the entire community, even when it creates disparity in resources. The writer also shared the following closing paragraph: "That Harvard’s misguided accommodationist policy may inadvertently divide as opposed to unite the diverse religious and ethnic backgrounds present in Cambridge is regrettable. More dangerously, it bolsters support for the idea that religious fundamentalism (particularly Islam) is incompatible with Western society. Harvard would do well not to make itself a breeding ground for this sort of feeling."

I found other blogs while searching the topic. Some listed some of the most hurtful things I've read in a long time regarding Islam. Muslim's will always have a near and dear place in my heart and so to read this I was saddened. One of the blog's made light of Muslim tradition by mocking the use of insha allah's and salamu alaikums. This blogger said that the closing of the gym for six hours is a great inconvenience not only to men but to the 98% of women at the university who are not Muslim. I guess that the 98% just won't want to work out with the 2% Muslim women. This blog also included the supposed email that was sent out to Muslim students by one of the officers of their association. However, the blogger incorrectly referred to Ola as "he". Ola is in fact a she, and one of the supporters of the women's only hours. As I read the hours listed in the supposed email, they were not inappropriate. There were 6 hours listed spread out among 3 weekdays.

I'm saddened by this whole ordeal. I may be completely wrong and putting myself out on a line here but I think the big deal is not about the 6 hours but it's about the Muslim women. The Muslim women and the Islamic Student Association on campus were the ones asking for this policy change. They were not asking for it to be closed for 6 hours a week for just Muslim women. They were asking for a number of hours a week that would just be women present. Due to Sharia (Islamic) law, women should be covered in front of men unless they are family. While a Muslim women could work out in a gym with a man present, she would need to be fully covered. In the case where there are a number of covered women wanting to work out, I can see where it would make sense for them to ask for female only hours. I believe that these news articles and arguments among students would not have taken place if white women had asked for special hours for women only. America is scared of Muslims. Most Americans equate Muslims with terrorists. We have every right to be scared of terrorists and to hate them for what they have done...but we do not have every right to hate Muslims.

As a strong Christian, it make seem strange that I stand up for the rights of Muslims in America. As a person who has many Muslim friends, I have seen the way they are treated and I don't think it's fair. While life is not fair, I believe that we should treat each other with respect. I think it's important that we listen to each other and try to get along.

So really, if it's that big of a deal then have men only hours as well. But please, don't take away the women only hours just because the Muslims asked for it.

I don't need a map...

2008-02-26T21:20:00.003-05:00

As you know, I went to the meeting of the New Baptist Covenant back at the end of January. Once we arrived in the city of Atlanta, we checked into our hotel, got ready and made our way to the CNN center. Of course when we got to the CNN Center there was no where to sit even remotely close to our group. So after finding a place to sit and eat we completed our meal and made our way over to the World Congress Center for the opening plenary session. After the session was over it was like a mad rush for the door. Our group was trying to successfully find our way back to the MARTA station.

Somehow I ended up leading the way (probably because I said I knew where I was going.) I thought I had seen a sign for MARTA so I led the group down a winding set of stairs. We kept going and going only to discover that we were in a parking deck not the Marta Station. I hadn't bothered to look at a map to see where the station was, I thought I could find it on my own. Finally we made our way back up out of the underground garage and over one block to the station. In the end we made it back to our final destination.

As I have had time to reflect on the New Baptist Covenant meeting I wonder if they approached this meeting with no map. Now obviously they had plan and lay out for the three days of meetings that occurred in January. So I wonder, do they have a map for the "what next" question? Do they know what will come of this gathering?

The meeting was great. I participated in wonderful worship and listened to great speakers. I attended two special interest sessions and was inspired by some of the things I heard. I went with a sense of excitement and encouragement. I left with more questions than answers.

Did the leaders and planners of the New Baptist Covenant go into this blindly hoping that the people would show them what was next? Or did they have a map for the future that just hasn't been revealed to us. For now, I don't know. What I hope to find out is how the people that participated can work together as Baptists to carry out the kinds of work that we discussed.

But really... I think we need a map.

Ordination

2008-02-11T21:46:00.001-05:00

Yesterday afternoon, I was ordained. It was a brisk winter afternoon. The winds were high and there were wildfires across the state of North Carolina. There was one fire close to Neill's Creek Church and for parts of the day the roads around the church were closed. Some people had a hard time getting to the church.
The service began at 5p.m. on the dot. I didn't want the service to begin until all of my family and friends were present. Some of them were late due to the fires. My mother counted that at least 25 people traveled from Virginia to be at the service in support of me. I was surprised by the children's choir being present to sing two selections for me. They prepared this as a surprise and a gift. It touched my heart. The service continued on with prayer and singing. Two of my friends read scripture and one friend sang and played the piano. Dr. Brock delivered the charge to me. He used Romans 12 as his text. I felt as if he were speaking directly to me when he spoke. It touched my heart.
Dr. De Brand followed with the charge to the church. He said he wasn't sure what to charge them so he would start out with $99.95. There was a congregation full of laughter.
One of the most touching parts of the service for me was the laying of the hands. This is what Joey ( as well as others) refers to as empty hands on empty heads. As I have thought about this statement and talked with him about it it has made me think about what I am. Without God, I am nothing. With God, I can be everything he has called me and wants me to be. During the laying of the hands, I kept my head bowed and my eyes closed. I listened as folks came by and offered words of prayer and blessing. My dad went first; he cried and I cried. Following him was the rest of my family, then all ordained ministers and deacons, and then anyone in the church that wanted to come forward.
My friend Brandon was present for the service. He is 23 years old and is mentally handicapped. He is autistic, mentally retarded, and epileptic. I was unsure if he would even be able to make it because of his seizures. When his aunt and her husband came forward as ordained ministers, he ran down the aisle. They asked Brandon if he had anything to say to me. He started off with, "I hope you get better." I had a tear in my eye and looked up at him. He continued, "because you have a new bed." While that moment probably didn't make any sense to anyone else in the room, it touched my heart. Not so much the words that he spoke but his presence there and his will to try to say something to me.
After the service I was presented with my certificate of ordination and the Bible that everyone who laid hands signed. The chairman of the deacons presented these to me and said that they were honored to ordain me when I asked them to. I kind of cringed at that statement. The truth is that I did not ask. There were people in the church who affirmed my call and saw it in me. They approached the pastor at the time and he talked with me. After discussion with him, I went through the processes that the church had in place to be ordained. It was a big deal because I was the first female minister for them to ordain.

Ordination in fact was a big deal for me. I attended the ordination service of my former youth minister when I was 16 years old. When I participated in that service I knew that one day, I would be ordained. It was not something that I decided on my own, it was a sense that the Holy Spirit laid upon my heart. This was not a service in which I was made to be anything more than just me, the person God has called me to be. It was not a coronation or an inauguration. However, it was a service that recognized my calling and my abilities to serve. I have agreed to serve alongside fellow believers and be committed to all that God has called me to do, where ever God calls me to go.

Children of all ages....

2008-02-08T23:28:00.000-05:00

Tonight I went to the circus in Raleigh. When I was growing up my dad would take me every year. I loved the circus; the clowns, animals, tricks, and fun. When I was a teenager and in college I often asked friends to go with me, but never went as much. I wanted to go last year but I was quite sick so I didn't get to go. When I found out the circus was coming to Raleigh I definitely wanted to go.

As we arrived to the RBC center there were PETA folks outside with signs about Animal rights and fair treatment of animals. Somehow, I don't remember that from my childhood.

We had seats on the third row of the section. The whole row in front of us was children. They were buying cotton candy, icees, hats, light up toys, and popcorn. I was quickly reminded of growing up. All the children around me would get that "junk" as my dad called it, but I didn't. I never thought it was fair. As I looked on tonight at all the money that was being spent on that "junk" I realized why my dad never bought it for me.

When I was growing up my favorite part of the circus was the elephants. As they entered the arena tonight I realized just how much I like the elephants. They are such giant creatures and they have been taught and trained to do such neat things. As I was watching the elephants my mind wandered to the signs I saw outside about animal rights. I know that Ringling Brothers treat their animals with respect. As we were leaving each person was given a brochure about animal treatment and the use of elephants.

No matter what people think or say... I love the circus and my favorite part will always be the elephants.

Rise up suckers...

2008-02-04T21:53:00.001-05:00

On the second day of the New Baptist Covenant Celebration we had the joy of hearing Tony Campolo speak to us. He began with the challenge to preach Christ, but which one. We were reminded that the Bible tells us that others will try to trick us into believing they are prophets. The truth is that they are false prophets. We are called to preach the Jesus of the scriptures. Campolo said that the Jesus of the scripture challenges us to live radical lives and get our values straightened out.

I felt challenged by the story that he shared of the Lawyer versus the Doctor. Campolo tells of one former student that he had that was one of the brightest students he ever had. This student went on to law school and was in the top of his class. He could have opened his own practice but instead he moved to Southern Alabama and practices law representing inmates of the jails that would otherwise have no one to even care about them. He compared this lawyer to another student he had. This student went on a mission trip to South America with Campolo. He saw the lives of the poor people there and said that he was going to come back to that place and practice medicine. After medical school this doctor opened his own practice in New York and was in the practice of giving breast implants. When Campolo saw him years later he asked him about the commitment he had once made to going and helping those poor people. The doctor said, well I am helping people. Campolo said no son, you sold out. One went on to help people truly in need, the other completely forgot about his commitment.

Jesus called us to take up our cross and follow him. He wasn't kidding when he said this.

Campolo gave us a few challenges and shared stories of why he belonged to a black church, including the "Goodnight Clarence" story. The final challenge from Campolo came in his words:

"Rise up you suckers and go out and do the work of Jesus."

What a challenge we are called to. Let's rise up suckers.

Hey... Where's my hat?

2008-01-30T23:24:00.000-05:00

Today, we embarked upon Atlanta, Georgia for the Celebration of the New Baptist Covenant. Six good friends together in one of the largest cities in the United States. We braved the traffic on the 400, checked into our fabulous hotel, and then figured out the MARTA to get to the CNN Center. After a good dinner from Moe's we made our way to the Congress Center. We checked out a few of the exhibitors and made our way to our seats. After finding out that we didn't need to be ushers we sat down in the midst of a diverse crowd.
After the political greetings of the Governor and Mayor, there was singing and a gospel choir. They were fantastic and had us on our feet. I had chills, feeling the presence of Christ in that place. Dr. Shaw got up to preach and began to talk about having many sympathies in that place. He said I am here and I am surrounded by many black folks and they realized that what I have been asked to do is a hard thing. First, I have been given a subject to preach on and second, I have been given a time limit. He did a wonderful job of bringing the people together in realizing what our purpose was. He spoke of the peace and justice of Jesus Christ. He spoke about Jesus saying I am. Jesus is the I am. That is all he needs to explain himself. Then he said that our response should be, HERE, I AM lord. Without you I am nothing, but with you I am everything. If we are realistic, we know that if we hurt the least of these we are hurting Christ.

Former President Jimmy Carter brought a message of hope and encouragement. He shared from the scripture and shared from his heart. He asked us a list of questions about life and justice and what we should really believe. We were challenged to come together and be unified even though we are so diverse.

I'll admit, there were parts of the evening that I found myself asking questions. I asked why did they do that or what just happened. I also looked around at all those ladies and said.. "Where's my hat?" Too bad I left it at home.

Brown Rice...Priceless

2008-01-25T23:13:00.000-05:00

Yesterday and today have been quite the interesting days. I have to say...I've smiled a lot. Yesterday began with my Old Testament Exposition class on Job and Ecclesiastes. The day started out a little rocky considering class starts at 8 and I didn't wake up til 7:41. I made it by a few minutes after 8. I enjoyed class, Dr. Cartledge brings many interesting pieces of information to the table and he really wants us to think about things in new ways.

After class I returned home to take a shower and really get ready for the day. In the mean time, I got the definite from my boss that I am going to St. Louis in February for work. I'm actually quite excited. I had one more class and then went to get a pedicure.

Last night a group of 8 of us went to Durham to eat sushi at our favorite place, Akashi. We celebrated Kellie's 29th birthday and had a great time of fellowship. Laura ordered the wrong sushi and it turned out to be very spicy. I was one of the few at the table that could eat more than one piece, and I actually liked it. Laura figured if I could handle it, it couldn't be too bad. Well, she popped the piece in her mouth and all eyes were on her. She turned completely red and grabbed for her drink. Her face was PRICELESS.

On our way out, Joey pointed out the sign on the Chinese restaurant next door that said: New Item: Brown Rice. How cool is that.. their newest item is brown rice. Yum.

This morning I took 4 students to the Social Security Office. We spent over 2 hours there. It was not my idea of fun as there were so many people around and it made me claustrophobic. One woman even took her child into the bathroom and proceeded to beat the child and scream at her. The security guard had to knock on the bathroom door and check on the situation.

This evening, we showed the first ever international movie at Campbell. When I arrived the guy from the physical plant said that they had received an empty case. I thought.. fantastic. I called my boss and he didn't answer. He finally called back only to determine that the DVD was in his computer. We finally got the movie back (30 minutes late) and showed "Bride and Prejudice." I truly enjoyed the movie. The students laughed and we all had a good time. A lot of the scenes were priceless. Especially the scene with the gospel choir on the beach (you gotta see it).

I like days filled with brown rice and all things priceless.

When the Burden is heavy

2008-01-24T15:27:00.000-05:00

Lately I have felt that my burden and load have been heavy. I wake up in the morning with too much on my mind and heart and go to bed nearly the same way. As a person of prayer, I have found myself over and over again giving these burdens to God, yet as a normal human I haven't found myself letting go.

In Ecclesiastes Chapter 1 the writer is speaking of having to teach others. He says that God has placed heavy burden on man by giving him this task. As I read this passage I thought about my life. I have been called to teach. God does bless us with the joy of telling others about him. Sometimes this can seem like a burden, too much for any one person to handle. But as I continued to think about my burden, I realized just how much God can take burden away. God promises that if I hand it over to him and rely on him, I will be taken care of. Two of my favorite verses of scripture come from Proverbs 3. I like to read them from the Message. It says

"Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he's the one who will keep you on track."

You see, if we can just trust God, He will take care of everything. As humans we often try to figure out everything on our own. The scripture tells us not to do that. We are instructed to listen for God's voice in EVERYTHING we do because he is the one who will keep us on track.

Since I have been struggling with these many burdens and doing my best to give them to God, I have noticed that my prayer life is getting stronger. One of the places I pray is in the shower. When I was in the shower this morning a song came on that I have heard several times before, only this time it had new meaning for me. This song is by Sara Groves and it is called "When the Saints".

Some of the words are as follows:
"Lord I have a heavy burden of all I've seen and know
It's more than I can handle
But your word is burning like a fire shut up in my bones
and I cannot let it go."

Using the link above you can read all of the words, but Sara goes on to sing about saints like Paul and Silas who carried on in the prison yard.

This song touched me in a new way this morning and I shed a few tears. I spoke a small, short prayer giving God the burden...completely placing it in his hands. All I can do now is continue to pray, have faith, and rely on the scriptures.

So if you burden is heavy, remember God will take it...if you give it to him.

LIfe changes

2008-01-20T20:26:00.001-05:00

About 6 months ago my life changed. I was in Cairo, Egypt with my two best friends at the time. I thought things were going fine, we were having a great time. I had noticed that my best friend was becoming distant and talking to my other friend about me when I wasn't around. There seemed to be a wall between us, a distance I couldn't explain.

Finally, I confronted my best friend and asked her what was going on. She began to raise her voice with me, she told me that I was too attached to her and I needed to take time to figure out who I was. She said some other things that I found quite hurtful. There I was thousands of miles from home and as lonely as ever. My friend had told me that once we got home things would be different. She said that we wouldn't be as close. I was devastated. I didn't know what to do. I went through those last few days, surrounded by two people I thought were my best friends and yet felt so distant. I felt like I didn't know them at all.

The trip home was hard. Although I was so ready to get home and see my family, I still wanted to be close to my friend. She was sleeping when they came by with the food on the plane. When I tried to help her by waking her up she snapped at me and said she could take care of herself. I was hurt again.

After getting home, we stood in her driveway and I gave her a hug. I said goodbye. That was the last time I saw her. We talked a few times on the phone after that, but it wasn't the same. She still had a pair of my shoes and owed me money. However, I decided to take her advice. I needed to take the time to figure out who I was. So, I spent a few days with my family and then came back to school to start a new job.

In these last 6 months I have discovered who I am, who God has called me to be. I have discovered things about myself that I never chose to see or wanted to see before. I have become so close to my sister. I have become much closer to my mother and father. I cherish my friends here at school. If my friend hadn't told me to figure out who I was, I may have never done this soul searching.

However..there is a truth to be faced. I miss my best friend dearly. I don't care about my money or the shoes...I just miss her. I think of her everyday. When something good happens, I want to tell her. When something bad happens, I want to tell her.

So wherever you are habibti, I still love you. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't know who I am today. The truth is, I miss you. I want you back in my life. I want to share the good times and the bad. I just want to be able to give you a hug and know that life is gonna be ok.

Life as I know it

2008-01-18T14:17:00.001-05:00

Well, I haven't posted in almost a month. I have been quite busy with things that have been keeping me from blogging. I must admit, I have missed it. I enjoy blogging not only to get my thoughts out but for the joy of knowing that other people are reading my words and are sometimes inspired by them.

Over the next few days, my goal is to post a few blogs about the things that have been going on in life since December 19. For now, I will share just a few updates.

1. School has begun again. I am back to being a full time student at CUDS. I love my classes, although they are going to require A LOT of work.

2. I am going to Atlanta for the Celebration of the New Baptist Covenant at the end of January. I am looking forward to being a part of this historic event with many of my friends.

3. A lot of things have been going on with my family. In the next few days, I plan to share some of these things.

4. My computer died. I am waiting on a new one to arrive (hopefully next week) and in the mean time I am relying on my work computer and my roommates extra laptop. I am thankful for these resources.

Until I write again, be blessed. Happy 2008!

In public

2007-12-02T17:16:00.000-05:00

When I hear the word "public" my mind automatically thinks of comedian Ron White and the way he used to talk about being "drunk in public". He didn't say the word public in any normal way...in fact I found the way he said it to be quite obnoxious. I remember seeing him on TV several times and every time he said the word public I cringed. I believe that stuck in my mind because now whenever anyone says the word "public" I am reminded of the obnoxious way of saying it.

Lately, I've heard a lot of talk about public. We talk at work about going public with decisions that have been made. In class we often talk about how we are to act in the outside world (or the public). At church, I heard about inviting the greater public to a Christmas service that would be taking place in December. As you can see, I've been hearing the word a lot.

Not only have I heard it in these places, I have heard the word from my boyfriend. For a while now he has made a joke that I don't like to be seen with him in public. Well of course I interject my feelings and exclaim that that is not the case. He gets this smile on his face and says something like.. I know the truth, you don't like to be seen with me in public. Well today, as we were walking into a restaurant to have lunch with some friends, he made the comment that I don't like to be seen with him in public. Of course, I responded but this time he got a smile on his face. He said of course he knew it wasn't true, he just liked to see how I react to such things.

Well, I decided...I want the world to know I really do like to be in public with my boyfriend. If you didn't know that already...now you do. I love to be in public with him and in fact, I am a better person for being around him and with him. So the reality is quite the opposite...being in public with him means that I can show off the person that makes me a better person and that makes me "one happy woman." :-)

These are a few of my favorite things...

2007-12-01T00:19:00.000-05:00

As I lay here tonight watching the 40th Anniversary edition of The Sound of Music I am reminded of the later years of my childhood when I first saw this movie. I don't remember where I was or who I was with, but I remember falling in love with this movie. I remember wanting to go to Salzburg (which is still a dream) and I remember learning the words to all of the songs in the movie.

When I was in the 5th grade, my mother purchased the piano music for me so that I could learn to play the songs. I started with the famous tune "These are a few of my favorite things..." I practiced that song everyday for weeks so that I could get it perfect. I wanted to be able to play it at my recital. I finally go it and my piano teacher was so proud of me.

Several years ago the 40th edition of the movie came out on a 2 DVD special edition. I asked for it for my birthday and my aunt got it for me. I was so excited that I watched it that night. Since then, I haven't watched it much, but lately that tune of favorite things has been on my mind.

Tonight after finishing one of my take home exams for school I decided to put the DVD in. As I laid here watching the movie, I was reminded of some of my childhood thoughts. I remember writing down some of my favorite things. At the time they included my dog, my mom, pizza, church, and Mexican food. As I lay here watching the Sound of Music, I have a smile on my face. There is just something about Maria becoming the governess of the VonTrapp household and making them clothes and teaching them to sing. The songs put a smile on my heart.

My list of favorite things has changed a bit since the fifth grade. Actually, it has changed quite a bit. If you'd like to know... my favorite things include my boyfriend. He puts a smile on my face and makes me laugh even when I am in a weird or bad mood. He makes me feel comfortable and I know I can be myself around him. He makes me happy when I am sad. I love spending my time with him no matter if it is at the dinner table or sitting in my room. He is one of my favorite things. My list also includes my friends. My friends mean the world to me. I have a group of close friends that I really feel "get" me. I don't have to act around them and I can just tell it like it is. My parent's are on my list. My sister is there as well. The list also includes traveling to places like Vienna, Austria, Prague, Czech Republic, Seville, Spain, and Cairo, Egypt. I haven't made it to Salzburg... but I am trying to get there this coming summer. The list has food on it as well...from Mexican food to pizza to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

These are just a few of my favorite things. As I sit here and sing along (but not too loud) I am reminded that I have a lot to be thankful for and I wanted to share a few of my favorite things.

(Image from www.walmart.com)

Learning values in their own way.

2007-11-25T20:30:00.000-05:00

As I was scrolling through the Time.com website looking at the news headlines one in particular caught my eye. Sunday School for Atheists happened to be at the top of the news. I clicked on the link and saw a picture of a young woman reading to several children. I began to read the article and became very interested in what it had to say.

Groups of atheists all over the United States are starting groups that come together weekly to teach their children values. They have their own version of the Christian Sunday School. The interviews in this article really intrigued me because the people talked of not believing in God at all. Now, I have had my days of straying from the straight and narrow, but I have always believed there is a God.

One of the stories in particular really got to me. A woman spoke of her son talking to someone about the Bible. The son was really interested in this truth that he had been presented and wondered why they didn't believe in it. After that, his mother sent him to a humanist camp to be with other children who had been raised not to believe in God.

As I read further, the article listed the things that these people and their children do in Sunday School. This is where they go to learn values and how to live. The children had studied Stone Soup a book about how a community comes together each person giving one thing to make the soup. If I am not mistaken, I have used this book before in church, or something very similar.

I am not really sure what to think about this Atheist Sunday School. I wonder if they have a class for how to deal with over zealous Christians, like the classes I have seen for Christians on how to deal with Latter Day Saints. I'd be interested in what it would be like to be taught how to live a life of values not believing in God. I'd bet it would be pretty hard.

Weird to us...normal to them

2007-11-18T20:40:00.000-05:00

Last week, I was walking through the halls of the Divinity School. I heard various conversations taking place on topics from studying to the weather. As I walked past one of the groups of classmates I heard them talking about weird occurrences. One of the girls said she had seen a headline that a man had wed a dog in India. Imagine that, a man marries a dog in India. I shook my head and kept on walking. The next day, I looked for a news article about this wedding, but could only find the picture on AOL news. I was intrigued by the picture and wanted to know more, but the story hadn't been written yet.

As I was laying here tonight for some reason I thought about the wedding between the man and dog. I googled the topic and found an article. I opened it up and there it was: Man in India Marries Dog As I read the story, I was amazed at why a man would marry a dog.

It turns out that this man married a female dog in a traditional Hindu wedding ceremony as an attempt to atone for stoning two other dogs to death- an act that he believes cursed him. As I continued to read the article I shook my head not understanding why any human would marry a dog. It turns out that in rural India deeply superstitious people sometimes organize weddings to dogs and other animals believing it can ward off certain curses.

I thought, what a backward practice marrying dogs. The article says that after the wedding the family had a feast and gave the dog a bun. Who in their right mind would really marry a dog is what my mind continued to think. To us, this seems quite weird. To them, its the norm. As I thought of this, I was reminded that I am thankful for the forgiveness of my sins through Jesus Christ.
(I'm also praying that no one I know will ever marry a dog... I might just have to laugh out loud.)

(photo credit: www.aol.com)

What I can't say...

2007-11-15T20:10:00.000-05:00

Posting blogs has caused a sense of release in my life. When I first started blogging, I was writing almost daily about thoughts or quotes or different things that were happening in my life. I expressed in my ministry journals that I found this blogging to be a sense of release for me. It has been almost like therapy.

For the past month and a half or so I have been experiencing so many emotions and thoughts that I cannot post here on this blog. I cannot post them because they are things I don't want to world to know. I cannot post them because they are things I haven't even admitted believing to myself. I cannot post them because I am scared to let go of them. I feel that if I keep them to myself, I have a safer hold on them.

I had shared with a dear friend that I had all of these things on my mind that I couldn't write for the world to see (yet). She told me I should journal them. I agreed and we moved on.

Today when I arrived at Divinity School, I looked in my mailbox and there was a small gift. I thought what in the world? Now, my friend had told me that she had a small gift for me, but I just wasn't expecting it to be in my mailbox. I took it out of my box to check it out. There it was, a brand new journal. Attached to it was a blue sheet of paper with a note. A portion of it reads: "For all of the thoughts that you cannot post..."

So to my friend, I thank you for the encouragement and support. I thank you for being a faithful reader and for giving me creative ideas for ways to deal with my thoughts and emotions. I am glad you are in my life and I am thankful for this gift!

The things I did....

2007-11-12T23:16:00.000-05:00

Last week a friend was talking about the things we do when we are young. She shared her story about her group of friends in middle school. They all made up a fake story about having play practice after school so that they could all stay after school. Only they weren't staying for play practice, they were staying after to practice making out.

After hearing her funny story, I began to think about the things I did. I think I'll share a few. Maybe they will make you laugh. Maybe they will make you remember some of the things you did when you were young.

When I was in 8th grade, I began to really hate gym. I had this coach that no one liked, but she seemed to like me. I tried to come up with ways to get out of participating in gym. I skipped a few times...and got caught. So, instead of continuing to get in trouble, I needed to come up with a way to get out of it. I came up with a fantastic story to tell my coach so that I wouldn't have to participate. I told her that I was pregnant and couldn't participate in P.E. The funny thing is.. she bought it for about 4 weeks and then she asked for a doctor's note. All that time, I sat on the sidelines laughing while everyone else did the exercises and learned how to play basketball and volleyball. You know, my coach didn't punish me for lying. She just made me participate again.

My hatred of gym continued into high school. Somehow, in 9th and 10th grades I ended up with the coolest gym coach ever. Instead of participating in the sports, he let me clean his office out every week. All I had to do was write a paper on the sport that the rest of the class was doing. I got out of participating and didn't have to lie.

As I think about my time as a teenager, I can remember many fun stories. I did a lot of stupid things. I did a lot of things to cry out for attention.

What did you do that was stupid? What did you do that was crazy? Did you do things for attention? Or did you just get by?

So I'm reminded...

2007-11-10T23:08:00.000-05:00

I sat down tonight to complete my writing assignment for next week. All I had to do was write a 300 word obituary for myself. This doesn't sound hard, but it was. As I struggled to come up with the best words to say, I realized how hard it was to talk highly of myself. Usually when one reads an obituary they see the persons greatest contributions to society, all of the lives they had touched and so on. It was hard for me to think about the lives I have touched or of any great contributions that I have made to society. After all, how much can a divinity student really do to change the world?

After writing it, I asked one of my closest friends to read it. She did and halfway through said she couldn't take it anymore. It was giving her chills. For my sake, she continued to read it and then she began to express her feelings.

Far too often I think we don't tell people how we feel about them. We tend to be private with our feelings, keeping things to ourselves. We don't tell our friends we love them, we don't share how we really feel because we think "there's always tomorrow."

In my life I have lost many people. Some of these people died. Some of these people have moved out of my life in a way in which I will never find them again. Some of these people I pushed out of my life and some pushed their way out. As I thought about these people I lost, I wondered how many of them really knew how I felt about them.

When you look at my personality type, I am a feelings person. I feel before I think. However, even though I am a feelings person, I don't always do my best at telling people how I feel. I believe that I often hide my feelings so that I have less likely of a chance to get hurt. The truth of the matter is, there is more that I need to share with people than I really do. I need to tell people how I feel.

So I'm reminded...of the challenge once given to me by a wise old friend. "Tell people how you really feel because there may not be a tomorrow."

I challenge you (and myself) to tell people how you feel about them. It will mean the world to them and it will change your world as well.

Trusted Friends

2007-11-04T00:35:00.000-04:00

When I was growing up, I struggled with fitting in with the crowd. I had a few trusted friends and basically despised everyone else.

As I have grown older my number of friends has broadened. I have people who have been in my life for certain seasons, some for years, some of only weeks. There are close friends, distant friends, long lost friends, and then those I just consider acquaintances.

Going through life with all those issues has caused me to have times when I really needed a shoulder to cry on, a friend to hug, someone to laugh with, you know all the things a friend does for a person. Whenever I was in need, it always seemed that God put the person there that I needed.

As I have gotten older, I prayed that I would be the friend to people, that people have been to me. I want to be able to be the person that people chose to confide in, the person people trust, the person that people come to when they feel they can go no where else.

You get what you pray for. People come to me all the time and I don't always understand it. People will share things with me that I have no knowledge about. Some will share deep, personal stories while others just share the latest gossip. The point is, I am being that friend. As I asked my trusted friend and counselor, why people choose me she said it was because I am easy to talk to. She said I have an open mind and people know they can trust me. I told her that all sounded great, but I didn't buy it.

Maybe I should start buying it. More and more these days, I have become the trusted friend. I am thankful that God is placing me in the lives of people that need me. I am hearing heart wrenching stories. I am hearing stories of love and laughter. I am hearing stories of pain and suffering. Most of all, I am hearing stories as the trusted friend.

So, as I think about being the trusted friend that hears the stories (that I don't repeat), I think about my trusted friends. I am forever thankful for the lives of the people who have touched me; while I am ever thankful that God has placed me in the lives of those who need a trusted friend.

May we remember that no matter where we walk or the trials we face God has us there for a reason. So look around, find trusted friends and never let them forget that you are thankful.

Red, Yellow, Black, and White...We are precious in His sight

2007-11-02T14:41:00.000-04:00

In the past few weeks, I have been contacted by several divinity school graduates to come and speak to various groups at their churches about Islam. Of course, I have agreed to go and help them out with this teaching. As I have been thinking about this, I thought about my life.

I grew up in a rural town on a dirt road, next to my grandparent's 40 acre farm. The closest thing I knew to diversity were the few African American children in my classes. Most of the people I knew and hung around were white. As I went through middle and high school, this stayed the same. When I was accepted to various universities across the Commonwealth of Virginia, I ended up choosing the one closest to home, yet it had some of the greatest diversity. As I arrived on campus for the first day of my freshmen year, I realized I was in the minority. I was surrounded by people from all over the world. I was 17 years old and had never left the East Coast of the United States.

Following that first year in college, I went to Europe for the first time to teach English. Since traveling internationally the first time, my interest was sparked, my feet were wet and I didn't want to stop traveling. I have traveled somewhere internationally each year since then. I am blessed to have been able to do this.

As I embraced the diversity that there was at VCU, I fell in love with the world cultures. It was quite interesting to me that I knew very little about other religions. I am a Christian and hadn't thought much about learning about other religions. Then September 11, 2001 happened. I remember the day and time, I remember where I was and how I reacted. After this tragic time for our country and its people, I decided that the way I could help was to learn more about Islam and help people to understand the true meaning. After all, God calls us to love all people. The following spring semester, I signed up for my first course on Islam. I remember going the first day. I was scared to death because I didn't know a thing and I was scared to fail. I was greeted with smiling faces and warm hearts of the many Muslims that were in the class.

As I continued my studies, I opted for a double major and chose religion with a focus on Christianity and Islam. This became one of the best opportunities for me. I was able to study under some of the best scholars and Imams in Islam. I took courses comparing the three monotheism's. I wrote papers, I read the Qur'an and I attended the masjid (mosque). This was a growing time for me.

During my years in college I became good friends with many Muslim people. I participated in more of the Muslims Student Association events than I did the Christian ones. It seemed that Muslims really knew how to accept people, while I always felt excluded in the Christian groups because I wasn't "like" everyone else.

Upon graduating from college I moved to a very small town in North Carolina where I would begin to attend Divinity School just a few weeks later. I thought that I had lost all of the diversity and that the learning about Islam would stop. I was wrong. I have been able to take world religions and independent research on Islam. Now I am the coordinator for International Student Services at the University working with people of all faiths and backgrounds.

So as I think about going and speaking at these churches in the upcoming weeks, I look at the path I have taken that brought me here. My ability to study and to learn has made me one of the student leaders for knowledge on Islam. I have students that ask me questions all the time. I have helped to build bridges between Islam and Christianity and for that I am truly thankful. Going to speak at these churches is not going to be easy. It is still a little nerve wracking because I struggle with what to say and how people will accept it. For now I can just keep it in my prayers.

As the picture above clearly shows, God created us all with different skin tones, different voices, different everything, yet he loves us all. As I continue to teach and educate others, may I do so in a way that God is exalted and people realize that just because someone believes differently than you it doesn't mean they are bad people.

Two worlds

2007-10-28T21:48:00.000-04:00

The life of a divinity student is often quite hard. We are consumed by classes, reading, homework, exams, ministry positions, work, and all at the same time we have families and social lives to keep up with.

Since coming to divinity school, I have realized that many of the younger students (around my age) have a hard time adjusting to this lifestyle. It is not because the work is too hard or too much. We often struggle because we find ourselves living in between two worlds.

There is the divinity school atmosphere in which we are called to be witnesses for God. Then there is the world beyond Buies Creek.

As I think about living life as a divinity student, I have reflected that it has been quite hard to be myself. When I first began attending this small school I decided that I was just going to go with the flow, and cover up who I really am. After a few semesters of that, I realized how depressed and sad I was that I wasn't saying how I really felt about things or spoke up in conversations about controversial issues.

Many of the younger students struggle with this. When we talk,we discuss the fact that we are often scared to speak up, scared to share our own thoughts for the fear of being judged and doomed to hell. I think its a sad state when you can't be yourself in your own learning environment.

I decided over the summer that when I returned to divinity school this semester, I was going to be Sara. Take me as I am or leave me. That is what I felt was best for me and knew that if I wasn't myself, I would continue to live in this saddened, depressed stage.

Since coming back to school this semester, I have been Sara. When someone says something I don't agree with, I tell them. I have butted in to many controversial topics, and have discussed my way through them until I was satisfied.

I know that this has surprised a few people and has made others really question who I really am. All I know is that I am happy. I go around a much better person because I know that I am being me. I have had people comment that I seem much more at peace, and that I look overall happier with life. I gotta admit, being yourself in your place, as God has called you to be is what life is all about.

My life has changed for the better. I am happy. I am myself. And I actually am looking forward to the future ;)

A gem in your crown

2007-10-23T00:35:00.000-04:00

When I was growing up, my grandmother always told me about people doing things just to get a gem in their crown. When I asked her what she meant, so always explained something about having a crown in heaven and for every good deed done on earth, a new gem was added.

There was the lady who would visit the shut ins every week. My grandmother told me the woman actually hated doing it, but she did it for the glory.

There was the distant relative that would come around every Christmas (the only time we ever saw her) and give us money.

There was the pastor that tried to make sure all of the children joined the church and were baptized. He was a numbers man.

As I have grown up, I stopped thinking about people doing things for the gems in the crowns. The thought left my mind for a while but has been brought back in recent months.

I was reminded of it again tonight. One of my closest friends is sick. She was doubled over in pain and I knew she needed help. I stopped what I was doing and went to be with her. I didn't do it for the glory or for the thanks. I did it because she truly means a lot to me and I didn't think she should be alone.

As we were sitting together, she decided that she needed to call her host family. She did and the woman said well we have plans but I will change them to come and get you. My friend told her there was no need for that, but the woman insisted. When my friend got off the phone she said to me, "she only wants to take me there so she can let me see a doctor then she can take me to the church and parade me around and let everyone know what she has done for me."

It saddens me to think that there are people in this world that would do that. As I thought more about it, I realized that my friend was right. The woman did want to parade her around for the glory.

God didn't call us to parade our good deeds for the glory. He called us to act justly,love mercy, and walk humbly with Him (Micah 6:8.) God doesn't call us to show off our good deeds or to expect thanks for them. So why do so many people do it?

Where are our servant hearts these days? Maybe I will have many gems in my crown, but I hope it's not because I did something just for the stone. I hope the gems are there because I have given of myself to show the love of Christ to others.

Don't ever be...

2007-10-17T23:02:00.000-04:00

"Don't ever be afraid to come to me and cry. Don't ever hesitate to look me in the eye. Don't ever be afraid to tell me how you feel. You're my friend, together we gotta keep it real."

I have a close friend who has been going through a great deal of stress and pain in the last few weeks. Some days she seems to be on a high, smiling and enjoying life. While others she is just sad and doesn't understand the pain.

We talk everyday about the situation and ways to get through it. She seems to always ask me, "Why me?" and I don't know the answer.. so I just have to say, "I don't know, but you are stronger than this." I know that she is stronger than this situation...but I also know that this is hard and not easy to face.

Tonight we were talking and I could tell that she wanted to cry. I moved and sat beside her and held her in my arms and told her to cry.

Sometimes crying is not easy for us. We don't like to do it in front of others, we would rather hold in the pain. I'll admit, I don't like to cry in front of others.

The quote I chose to begin this evenings writings is dedicated to her. I hope she is never afraid to cry with me, never afraid to tell me how she really feels, never afraid to be real.

Facing a trial and tribulation with the help of a close friend always makes the situation seem a little brighter.

I'd like to share a few more of my favorite friendship quotes this evening. Maybe they will inspire you to thank someone in your life that you can be real with. Someone you can cry with and look in the eye. Don't ever forget that God placed these people in your life for a reason. When you are looking for God, just look around. He has placed people there to help you get through this.

"We are both of us angels with only one wing. We can fly only by embracing each other."

"When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look forward, look beside you and I'll be there."

"A friend is someone who smiles when you smile, laughs when you laugh, and cries when you cry."

Dance Partners

2007-10-15T02:01:00.000-04:00

Let it be known, I like to dance. My sister can dance and has lots of rhythm and because of that she always told me I couldn't dance. I've always thought I had a few moves so I didn't really listen to what she had to say to me.

There are many different kinds of dance from dancing in the club to ballroom dancing, to polka dancing or line dancing. Now, I've done my share of dancing in the clubs, I've taken ballroom dancing lessons and even gone line dancing. Each dance has its on technique, its own style.

I've been reading a book for school and the writer talks about how the church should be in a dance with God. It's all about the movement between the two. As I began to think about this while driving from Virginia to North Carolina today, I started to equate dancing to my life.

There was a time in my life where I had one constant dance partner. We went everywhere together, made every move together, our feet moved in sync. This dance lasted for years until one day my foot was stepped on. After this, our moves were out of sync. We could never really get things back on track. And so our dance stopped.

After that long period of dance I thought it appropriate to take a break. I felt like one of those people at the clubs that is always standing on the sidelines and watching. Everyone else seems to be out there having a good time, even if they really can't dance. As I stood on the sidelines, I wanted to move, I wanted to dance but just never found the right partner.

There were periods where I danced a few dances with various people. While it was nice to be able to use my moves and move my feet, I really wasn't happy. I didn't feel like I had the best dance partner or that we made the best match.

After dancing with a few people, I decided that God was leading me to leave the dance floor all together. I left the club and stayed at home. While I was doing the things I needed to be doing with my life, I wasn't out on the floor. When I finally realized that it was all about giving things to God and letting him show me the right dance floor to be on, then I knew I was back on the right track.

I've been on a different dance floor since entering Divinity School. I've danced a few dances but there was no match. In the last few weeks, I think I've found a new dance partner. I'm excited about this dance called life and what it will bring. I ready to dance this dance (even if he is scared of having two left feet...or stepping on my toes). This song just started, so I am up for the dance.

Notes becoming Chords becoming Songs

2007-10-10T23:17:00.000-04:00

Music touches our souls in strange ways. People have different tastes in music. Some like jazz, some like hard rock, while some others like country music. But I have yet to find someone who does not like music of any kind. What does music mean to you?

I remember music growing up. My mom would always sing me to sleep. My father would sing to wake me up. I used to get so mad at him every time he would come in my room singing "if your child needs a daddy I can help. I got two strong arms, I can help." I hated that song. I never believed it was real until I heard it on the radio several years ago.

Growing up in church, I learned many different hymns and songs on Sunday's and Wednesdays. I enjoyed singing in the children's choir. I was in the youth choir (and I quit after that.)

Music doesn't always have to have words though. I started taking piano lessons in third grade. I made music every week on that piano. I have played handbells in church for 14 years. I love to make music with bells and can even play solo.

The radio plays various types of music. Once we listened to tapes, then CD's and now I have over 2000 songs on my iPod. There's rock, pop, dance, Arabic, Islamic, Christian, and many other various types of music on there. I have various tastes when it comes to music.

Today, I was driving back from the airport with a friend and we had been listening to some popular dance music and we were both just moving with the beat. My friend was our DJ since I was driving, so it was totally up to her what we would listen to. After listening to a few of our favorites, she changed to Christian music. After a song or two of the Christian "fluff" as some people call it, our moods changed. We were more solemn. The lyrics gave us something to think about; we had things to contemplate. So as we rode along listening to these songs with deep meaning and beautiful melodies, my heart was changed.

I chose several songs I wanted her to hear including Entertaining Angels and Breakfast by the Newsboys, and Lifesong by Casting Crowns. I also played Big House by Audio Adrenaline. When this song was playing and my friend was listening to the words, she got a smile on her face. She realized what the song was about and how there is a place for everyone with God.

As I have thought about this more tonight, I am taken back to my time as a youth. I had a different taste in music. Most people around me were listening to country...I was listening to rap. The people at church were trying to get me to listen to Christian music...I refused. I was different in my tastes but no less a Christian than anyone else around me. However, I'm afraid that the church folks thought I was less of a Christian and tried to bring me "back" week after week.

Thinking of this situation I was in, I am reminded that there is a place for everyone with God. No matter what our tastes in music are (or anything else for that matter) God accepts us all.

So how does music speak to you? What genre of music do you like? Do you allow the lyrics to speak? Does music make you cry, smile, laugh, weary, happy, etc?

Take time to listen to the music. Music is the heartbeat of life.

"Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

Half a stick

2007-10-08T23:30:00.000-04:00

Today as I was walking across campus, someone offered me a half a stick of gum. Immediately I was taken back to my childhood.

My Granddaddy (my father's father) was my best friend. We did absolutely everything together. His house was right next door to mine and I would go visit my grandparents everyday. While my Nanny was in the house cooking or cleaning, I was typically out on the farm with my granddaddy. He had an old Ford tractor, it was grey and red. He made a lift type thing for the back of it with a seat for me to sit on as he drove around the farm. I remember his old station wagon that I called a "grocery getter" as I got older. It was yellow and brown. The back would open up and seats were there. I loved it when he let me ride in the very back. I remember his black tool box in the back of his old green pick up truck. It didn't have seat belts and when we rode around I felt "cool" cause there were no seat belts.

My grandfather taught me many things. He taught me how to drive a tractor. He taught me how to plant a garden. He taught me how to laugh. When I was just a young child... always hanging around him.. I learned how to say a quote that has stuck with me forever. If I did something wrong, I would yell "Hell, dumb, damn, stupid, EB." Granddaddy thought it was so funny, because EB was my mother's father. (You know how families are.)

My grandfather was a meticulous man. Everything had its place. I think he learned this when he served in the Coast Guard. I remember his basement and one side had a wall of tools. Everything had a place to hang, and he always knew if something was missing. There were a few important things on that wall. He had several pictures of his family. And then there was an empty cigarette box. On it, was written: Last Box November 1, 1982.

I grew up looking at this box hanging on the wall, not always knowing why it was there or what the words and date meant. When I was about 10 I finally asked him what it meant. He told me that when he found out that his son was having a child he wanted to quit smoking. He finally gave it up one month before I was born. When he gave it up, he starting chewing freedent gum. He never chewed the whole piece...only half. He always offered someone else the other half.

When I was in the ninth grade, my grandfather was near his death. One week before he died I was at his house and was dying my hair. He just couldn't understand why my hair looked purple. He had been making so much fun of me that I was getting upset. He was very sick, and that night I went in his room and told him I just couldn't bear to see him like that. He told me he understood and he didn't want anybody to see him like that. He reached out his hand, touched my face and told me he would always love me. He reminded me of some of our best memories together. I knew then that I would never see him again. One week later, he passed away.

So, as I walked across campus today chewing my half a piece of gum, I was reminded of the love I have for my grandfather. Even though he died when I was in 9th grade, to this day I still feel his presence around me. He will always have a special place in my heart. I loved him, I love him, and I keep our memories dear to my heart. When I mess up, I still say "hell, dumb, damn, stupid EB" and laugh because I know if he were still alive he'd be laughing with me. So here's to half a stick of gum, and memories of one of the strongest men in my life.

Birfdays.. yes, Birfdays

2007-10-07T23:28:00.001-04:00

If you walk down the aisle of a Hallmark store, do you know how many birthday cards you can find? How about all of the gift bags, tissue paper, tape, ribbons, etc?

How about when you are out in a restaurant and hear the birthday song being sung? Does it bring back memories for you of times growing up?

This weekend, I celebrated two of my friends' birthdays. We had an excellent time. As I have reflected over the time we spent together, I am reminded of many birthday memories.

I remember when I was 8 years old, my grandmother had a princess cake make for me. It was 3-D and I loved it. I took pictures of it, beside it, well you get my point. I didn't even want to eat it. That cake was one of my favorites. I loved it.

I remember when I turned 13, I dyed my hair and surprised my parents. Oh.. boy were they upset. However, I loved the new shade of blond. I just kept saying...at least it isn't blue or something.

I remember when I turned 16, I had a limo come to my house and pick up 6 friends and me. We went to a fancy dinner, then around to look at the tacky light tour (hey..its a big thing in Richmond).

I remember when I turned 17, it was the year I graduated from High School. A group of my friends took me out for my birthday and then to a party. We had a great time.

How about the milestone of 21. Of course there was a party with friends, but what sticks out to me more is the time with my mom. Funny story is that my mom and her friends wanted to take me out for my birthday. We went to a local Mexican Restaurant and had some drinks. Funny thing was, I stopped and my mom and her friends didn't. I ended up having to drive them all home (isn't there something wrong with that picture?)

On my 24th birthday, I was extremely sick. Two weeks after my birthday, I was in the hospital. I remember my family taking me out to eat for the evening and I couldn't eat. They were so worried about me and had no clue what was wrong. I tried to suck it up and smile.. but it didn't work, they knew I was in pain and really didn't want to be out.

Birthday memories. Since I spent the weekend celebrating with two close friends, I had time to think about how special birthdays have always been. One of the birthday girls chose to come and visit from Puerto Rico for her 21st birthday. The other friend turned 22 today.

We went out together on Friday night to a club/bar. I really felt like I was getting too old for this, but the girls made me feel young again. We had a great time out on the town. I drove them home, and we got back after 4am. On Saturday, I got to sleep in and then I made a cake for the girls. (I love cake, did I mention that?) Eleven of us went out to a local hibachi grill to celebrate their special days. We had a wonderful time and then returned to my apartment with everyone for cake. The conversation was great, the living room was filled with laughter. Once everyone left, I sat in my room with my two friends, and we relaxed. We had some true girl talk. We laughed together, we cried together, we hugged, we laughed again. Then we watched The Notebook. Well, we cried again.

Today brought a special 22nd birthday for one of my closest friends, but it also brought tears. We had to take our friend to the airport this morning for her to return to Puerto Rico. As we did, the crying happened, the goodbyes happened, and we realized this is a part of life. We are constantly having to tell people goodbye. After leaving the airport, we did a little shopping (you know one of my favorite things to do) and then returned back to the Creek. I cooked tonight (mashed potatoes from scratch)...and we had a good time eating, and talking afterwards.

Birthdays have always been important memories and milestones in my life. I am thankful to have been reminded this weekend of my milestones, the many celebrations I've had with friends and family, and I'm thankful to be alive.

My next milestone is in 2 months and 3 days.. and I will be half of 50. That means I am closer to 30... closer to needing to settle down in life...closer to graduating. There were times when I never thought I would make it this far. But as I think about it, I am so glad to have made it to where I am, and look forward to celebrating many more milestones, surrounded by the people I love.

Short but sweet....

2007-10-05T02:43:00.000-04:00

Well.. I did it.. ;)

It's 2:42am...I have been out since 10...and I am one happy woman.

That's it for today folks...

Right place...right time

2007-10-02T22:17:00.000-04:00

Today I realized that I am in just the right place. I mean, being at Campbell Divinity School at this time is the right place for me. It wasn't the person (can I say nosey student) who questioned my being late to class that did it. It wasn't the friend that loaned me her class notes, or the lecture series on preaching.

I realized today something that God has been trying to show me for sometime. I am surrounded by a select group of people that do not judge me for being myself. I often have different ideas on things such as how we get to heaven, or who is saved, or just what heaven will look like. As I talked with a friend after class today, we talked about how I am different and there is nothing wrong with that. She said some things about my thoughts and how she could see where I am coming from. In no way did she tell me I was wrong or did I feel that she was judging me.

Now granted, there are many people at Campbell who do not agree with me. There are those that are way more conservative that me. There are those who are more towards the liberal side than I am. However, I liked the words that were used to describe me tonight. I am seen as being confident in my ideas and in myself. I am also seen as being a non-conformist.

This may come as a surprise to you..but ladies and gentlemen, I don't conform to the crowd. I like to listen to all sides and form my own opinions and ideas about things.

I'll admit that I was excited to hear these things and why these things fascinated this person about me. As I go on being a non-conformist and confident, I am only more excited to see just what the future holds. And, I'm not kidding.

Silence and Strength

2007-10-02T01:01:00.000-04:00

I spent the afternoon and evening with a close friend. We went to Cary to do some shopping and hang out. We had a great time.. and I managed to keep my wallet closed (for the most part). I didn't buy much, I kept a handle on the spending. As I went around the mall, I watched the various people and listened to my friend as we talked about life and school and work and the future. Talking about the future is fun, because both of us know that we can't plan too far in advance because God always seems to have other plans for us.

Well, we were on the way home and the music was playing. Whatever song was on happened to be about love. I was quiet and listening and realized that my friend had stopped talking. Without looking over at her, I said.. "What's wrong?" She looked at me and said.."how could you know? How did you realize that I needed you to ask me that?"

As we drove on, I began to give her one of my pep talks. She has really needed them these past few days as I have reminded her to be strong. As I was talking, she said to me... " You know I feel like the words you are saying is really God talking to me." I asked her why. She told me that she felt God was trying to talk to her and tell her to be strong in the situations she is facing and He knew that the only way she would listen was if I told her.

Hmm.. quite interesting. Well, as we drove on the car got silent again.. so I started singing. As we were almost home, she looked over and me and said, you know, you are one of the strongest women I have ever met. You set your mind to something and you do it. You give me these pep talks and encourage me to be strong. You are a wonderful example. As I thanked her she shared with me that her roommate felt the same way about me. I smiled to myself and was thankful to be viewed as a strong woman.

I haven't always been strong, but these days I am. I wonder why...

Secrets...

2007-10-01T01:45:00.000-04:00

Every Sunday afternoon, I normally take time to read another blog. I read the same one every week. This blog is from Post Secret. Post Secret was a project that was started a while ago in which people can send in post cards containing their secrets. These secrets are then published in book form or online. I read this blog every week, seeing and trying to understand the secrets that are being shared. I even have one of the books and I have read every single secret that was printed inside.

I find this idea fascinating. The book has a quote from its compiler inside. It says, "There are two kinds of secrets: those we keep from others and those we keep from ourselves." -Frank.

I have the original Post Secret book that was published after this project began in 2004. In this book are some of my favorite secrets that I have read. Some of my favorites read:

"I am a Southern Baptist Pastor's Wife. No one knows that I do not believe in God."

"I Hate people who remind me of myself."

"I hated my childhood."

There are so many others that people have had the courage to artistically share in post card version and mail in anonymously. Each week, as I read these post cards, I think about what I might put on my own post card. Tonight it hit me that I would want to share the following.

Most girls grow up playing mommy with their baby dolls. They dream of the day that they are a mother and can dress their children and play with them at the park. I grew up telling people that I didn't want children. My reasons were that I didn't want a child to have the same kind of childhood I did, therefore I wouldn't have any. I told this story for so long, and will still tell it today. The truth is...I did have a rough time as a child..but I WANT to have children. I want about three of them.

So there it is folks, one of my secrets. I have held it in for many years, and so now you know: I want children.

Do you have secrets? Do you ever feel so bad after holding them in for so long that you want to share them? I feel much better sharing mine. It may seem small to you, but it is a very big deal for me. So... if you can..tell a secret or two. I believe you will feel better.

Yeah...he said it

2007-09-29T15:20:00.000-04:00

Most people know that I love quotes. I don't mean numerical quotes for jobs to be performed or insurance quotes, I mean quotes in words that people have made about certain topics. I have quote books, read quote websites, and buy magnets with quotes.

A good friend shared the following quote with me this week. He thought that not only would I enjoy it, it would give me something to write about and express my feelings.

According to a profile in Christianity Today entitled "The Positive
Prophet," Campolo would often begin a speech this way: "I have three
things I'd like to say today. First, while you were sleeping last
night, 30,000 kids died of starvation or diseases related to
malnutrition. Second, most of you don't give a shit. What's worse is
that you're more upset with the fact that I said shit than the fact
that 30,000 kids died last night."

I seriously appreciated this quote because it gave me a lot to think about. When I talk to non-Christians, they normally tell me about how Christians are so hypocritical, saying one thing and doing another. While this quote may only touch on that, to me it says something else. Campolo makes a statement about the death of children. He follows up the statement with a sentence using a word that is considered bad, something we don't use in our everyday language. My favorite sentence is the last. Campolo says that what's worse is that we as Christians are more concerned about the fact that he said, "Shit" instead of the children that died. Now that is the problem with that picture.

Another instance this week made me think about the way that supposed "Christians" get caught up on themselves and forget about others. One of my students shared this story with me. She told me that when she first moved to this university she was placed in a dorm room with a very sweet girl. It just so happened that the girl was Muslim. She prays five times a day to Allah, fasts during Ramadan, reads the Quran, and so on. When my student went home to her host family, she began telling her host mother about her new roommate. She shared just how sweet the girl was, how they look out for each other, and then she added that the girl was Muslim. Do you know how this supposed "Christian" host mother responded? She looked at my student and said..."Well that's great that you get along so well. But your roommate and her family are going to Hell." My student left that conversation saddened because here she was half way across the world from her home, she has finally found a friend and her host family tells her they are going to hell. What a way for a Christian to act.

This story brings up way too many deep issues for me to get into today, things like Muslims going to heaven and are they praying to the same God I do? I have my own set of opinions and would be glad to share if you ask.

There is a group of students on this campus, that shall remain nameless, and I feel that they believe they are the ultimate in the faith. They walk around this campus going after students that are not Christian. They even go after students that are Christian, they just feel they don't act like it. Since I work with international students, many of my students are not Christian. I do not judge them, I do not force them to convert, I allow them to live out their beliefs in their own way, all the while I behave as a Christian. Since the students have been back on campus, about 6 weeks, numerous students have come to me crying. When I ask them what is wrong, they explain to me that students from this "group" have confronted them. In their confrontations, they tell them that unless they believe the way they do, they are going to hell. Now... what a way to reach someone for Christ. There was no love in their statements, no saving grace, just an explanation that unless they change their ways, Hell is their destination. I truly believe these people are out to get numbers....to convert students and then let them be. I've asked several from this group...are you scaring people to death and making converts, or are you making true disciples of Jesus Christ?

So as I think about Campolo's quote...I wonder. As Christians, are we more concerned about the word "shit" (or various others) or do we truly care about humanity?

these words....

2007-09-26T18:22:00.000-04:00

These words have been speaking to me since yesterday when my friends Viveca and Kerrie sang this song in chapel....

More to come on my thoughts later...

-S

MARY MARY LYRICS

"Can't Give Up Now"

There will be mountains that I will have to climb
And there will be battles that I will have to fight
But victory or defeat, it's up to me to decide
But how can I expect to win If I never try.

I just can't give up now
I've come too far from where I started from
Nobody told me the road would be easy
and I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me

Never said there wouldn't be trials
Never said I would't fall
Never said that everything would go the way I want it to go
But when my back is against the wall
And i feel all hope is gone,
I'll just lift my head up to the sky
And say help me to be strong

I just can't give up now
I've come too far from where I started from
Nobody told me the road would be easy
and I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me

[Hook:]
No you didn't bring me out here to leave me lonely
Even when I can't see clearly
I know that you are with me(so I can't)

I just can't give up now
I've come too far from where I started from
Nobody told me the road would be easy
and I don't believe he brought me this far to leave me

In His Image, not mine

2007-09-25T00:12:00.000-04:00

I have started writing this entry about four times now...each time I have erased it all. Maybe what I write this time will be more profound than the last and stick to the page like glue. We will see...

I'm different. Now that is a bold statement. I know that I look like no one else, talk like no one else, and think like no one else. Growing up, they always told us that God created no one else like me, that we are unique beings and were made in the image of God.

Hearing that as a child is comforting. I mean.. I had braces, thick glasses, not the coolest of clothes, and therefore I was different. Well, I grew out of the phase.. got contact, the teeth were straight, got a job to buy my own clothes.. you know the routine.

Well, I think we are called to be different in Christ. Tonight, I was having a conversation with two people and the topic of homosexuality in churches came up. I admitted that am not against it. Oh no.. did she just say that gays in the church are ok? Well.. yes.

When I make that statement, I feel almost as if a spotlight were shining in on me...pointing me out as a heretic. For goodness sakes.. some would say I am going to Hell because I accept gay people.

Well, I don't take this lightly. I thought that we were all made "different" by God in his image. I am pretty sure that there is not a scripture about who I should accept and who I shouldn't. The great commission doesn't tell me to go into all the world and tell everyone accept gays.. or for that matter.. alcoholics, cheaters, homeless....well you get my point.

I guess I just wanted to share that I feel God loves all people. Surprise, Surprise. I really feel the church (as we, not God, have created it) is doing the world an injustice. God wants to be in a relationship with all people.. not just the elite.. so really.. why don't people just accept that they aren't the only ones God loves.. and move on.

"Yes, we're international"

2007-09-24T01:26:00.000-04:00

Back in July, I began this position with Campbell University. I knew that I would be running the new department of International Student Services. The first few weeks were spent behind my desk, and I was getting a little nervous about the job. I was wondering if I had made the right decision to change jobs. But then the day came...I started the airport shuttles. In a little less than two weeks, I drove a total of 18 shuttles to and from RDU. Now, that is a task considering the campus is one hour away from the airport. As I greeted each student, some new, some returning...they smiled back at me and showed their appreciation. Once I got them all on campus, the questions started again. I thought, "so now what?"

We had a welcome pizza party with over 100 students in attendance and it was wonderful. The following Wednesday, we made our first internationals trip to Wal-Mart. When we returned to campus (after 3 hours of shopping) I stopped at each dorm to drop students off with their purchases. When each person departed the vehicle several of the girls would say "bye" in their accents and giggle. After each time, one of the male students would look at me and say, "Yes we're international."

During the next Wal-Mart trip I had about 25 students show up to attend. As I was taking the first group, I listened to the students talk. One said to me, "Sara, why are this many people going to Wal-Mart? Last year we never had this many." I responded with a simple "I don't know the reason why." A few seconds later, one of the girls spoke up and said..."Sara, don't you get it? We all just want to spend our time with you." That made my heart melt. I have heard over and over again how much they like spending their time with me...a traditional, non-international person.

Today, I traveled with a group of ten Asians to a movie and the Asian Market. They introduced me to all kinds of foods, new words, decorations, and traditions. As I was watching them walk along the aisles and interact with the employees and other patrons it hit me. In this place, I'm the international. Here they fit in. As I embraced the fact that I was international, I took note of the things that I did that made me stand out; one being speaking English.

So... in this world that God has created, we are all different, yet created by One God. So I think,"Yes, we're international," and I get a big smile on my face and in my heart!

Journey vs. Destination

2007-09-22T22:23:00.000-04:00

"For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin-real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment that you have and remember that time waits for no one. Happiness is a Journey, not a destination." -Souza

I have a magnet with this quote hanging in my room. It wasn't until today that I truly realized how true this was. I purchased this magnet weeks ago, I bought it because I really liked the quote and thought it would be a good idea to read it every once in a while. It is hanging on my desk, so I see it whenever I sit down to type. As I was cleaning today, I passed by and read it. I was hit with the reality of it.

How in the world did I end up in Buies Creek, North Carolina pursuing a Master's of Divinity? Who really knows...but God?

When I was in my latter years of high school I had a job at a local home furnishings store. Pretty soon I had worked my way up to Assistant Manager and was even offered the chance to have my own store as manager. With this job I traveled all over the U.S. remodeling stores and training new employees. Just when I thought that was my destination in life, God changed the way.

I was in college pursing a degree and was presented the opportunity to start working with Autistic children. After the first day, I wasn't really sure if I would ever make it. Turns out, I did this for three years. I fell in love with the job and with the children. My life revolved around them. I was able to see so much progress in them, when a non-verbal child was finally able to speak a word or two, I would get tears in my eyes. Once again, I was happy and thought this was my destination in life.

However, God had a different plan. After graduating from college, I moved to this small town in North Carolina to begin pursuing a Masters degree. I made new friends, kept a few old ones and really just tried to focus on God's plan for my life. I was truly tired of school so I really was relying on God to get me through. During my second year here, I thought I would go my own way and decided to take the easy route and get the shorter masters degree. I talked with the Associate Dean of the school and had everything set to graduate in May. God had a different plan. He was speaking to me in a still, small voice, but I really wasn't listening (hard to admit that.) I had been working in a local church for over a year as the children's minister. I loved the children, not the church politics. I wasn't looking for another job, but God had a plan. During the spring, Campbell created a graduate assistant position for International Student Services.

The campus minister, one of my good friends, heard about the position and immediately thought of me. I applied, interviewed, and was hired. Just like that. In turn, I had to leave the position at the church. I was a little nervous about all of this, but gave it to God. Once the new position started, I fell in love with it. I love my students, I love learning about their cultures, and I certainly love hanging out with them. After a few weeks in this position, a friend said to me, "Sara, are you sure that God isn't telling you to stay in school and get your M.Div?" I looked at her and said.. "well, I don't think he is." The next day, she asked the same question. She asked repeatedly about it telling me that God was speaking to her and telling me the message. After hearing this for a while, I was giving it some serious thought. I began praying about it and gave the situation to God. One of my students asked me when it was I would graduate. I told her that it could be 2008 or it could be 2009. She asked for more of an explanation. Once I explained, she told me, "I know that you will do the right thing, you will listen to God. " That night, during my prayer, I told God I would stay in school for the M.Div. As I have embraced this decision, and my position at the university, I am so excited about the future. I am looking forward to what God has in store.

My true happiness is coming from the Journey that God is allowing me to have. If I looked at each stop as a destination, I would have stopped long before now, and I am pretty sure I would not be happy with life. Just when I thought that I was about to graduate and do what I wanted to do... God had a different plan for what HE wanted me to do and now my real life has begun.

Are you seeking to walk the journey of happiness or are you stuck at a destination?

Family

2007-09-21T19:04:00.000-04:00

When one thinks of family, they remember the group of people that they are born into. We don't have a choice who our family is or how they will accept us and treat us. Growing up in a family in a small town brought lots of challenges. From the outside looking in, we were the perfect family. Two parents, two children. However, from the inside looking out, I knew that we were always far from perfect. I was never happy living at home, but once I moved out I realized just how good I had it there.

Now that I am in charge of International Student Services for Campbell University, I have learned a new take on family. Each of the international students arrive here on their own. Usually they don't know anyone, so quite often I am the first face of Campbell that they see. Since they are here on their own, like most college students are, this is a place where they need to create their own family. When I entered Divinity school several years ago, I began to create my own family. This is a group of my friends that I know I can count on for anything. However, I don't often think of what I might mean to someone else in terms of family.

I was reminded of this last week. There is a student from Moldova that I have been getting to know. She is very dear and close to my heart. I have been watching God work in her life over the past few weeks, and I am thrilled to see the way He answers prayers. Last week, International Student Services coordinated a host family meal. On this night, the student from Moldova came with me. She has adopted me as her family. After the meal, each student and family stood up. The family was to introduce the student, and the student the family.

My student and I stood up, and we were the last to go. I introduced her and told everyone where she was from, a little about Moldova, what she is studying, and that she means a lot to me. After that, my student began to speak. She introduced me and told everyone that I was in charge of International student services and also a student in the Divinity School. She went on to say some things that will stick with me for a while. She told about how I am always there for her, taking care of her needs, and helping her to see God at work. She told the group that she loved me, and that I meant more to her than any family or friend ever could. I began to get tears in my eyes. I cried because she is not a person that expresses her feelings, so to hear her saying these things about me just touched my heart.

I am honored to be her family, honored to be her friend. She puts a smile on my face and reminds me how lucky I am to be living. Even though we weren't born into the same family, we are family, helping each other along this journey called life.

Going Home

2007-09-21T01:14:00.000-04:00

Last weekend, I had the opportunity to go home. Home for me is a place that brings back many memories; some good, some bad. I hadn't been home in a couple months so I was truly looking forward to seeing all of the changes. My parent's house has been under reconstruction, so seeing all of the new things was exciting. I have missed seeing my little sister, who is now grown up and enjoying life. I was looking forward to visiting with my parent's as well, because over the past year our relationship has been strained, but we seem to be putting things back together.

I was really traveling home to preach at the church I grew up in. The church was celebrating homecoming and their 160th anniversary. The pastor contacted me several months back and asked if I would be willing to preach at the 11am worship service. I told him that I would like to have a chance to pray about it, considering that I would be the first woman to preach from that pulpit and really have it called preaching. As I prayed about it I began to feel God place a message upon my heart. I called the pastor and let him know that I would be glad to preach for homecoming. He was very excited.

As I prepared for the day, I became more and more nervous. This was not my first time preaching, but I would be preaching in front of many people who know me very well. I think that preaching at "home" is the hardest kind of preaching. Sunday came and I arrived at the church at about 10:20. There were many people who haven't seen me in a long time that came up to speak. I had a chance to speak to the pastor and it was great. As I sat in my pew waiting for the time to preach, my legs began to shake. Finally, it was my turn. I led the church in prayer and then shared what was on my heart. As I was preaching, I began to hear the Amens and the bless yous coming from a group of visiting African American ladies. As they affirmed me, my nervous feelings subsided and God spoke through me. When I was finished, I left the pulpit feeling pleased and thankful that all had gone well.

Having that opportunity to make history was awesome. I am thankful for those ladies (my angels) offering the Amen's that so easily calmed my nerves. It made me think of my second home, Campbell Divinity School and the multiple affirmations shared there in chapel.

Thanks be to God that all went well.