So I'm reminded...

I sat down tonight to complete my writing assignment for next week. All I had to do was write a 300 word obituary for myself. This doesn't sound hard, but it was. As I struggled to come up with the best words to say, I realized how hard it was to talk highly of myself. Usually when one reads an obituary they see the persons greatest contributions to society, all of the lives they had touched and so on. It was hard for me to think about the lives I have touched or of any great contributions that I have made to society. After all, how much can a divinity student really do to change the world?

After writing it, I asked one of my closest friends to read it. She did and halfway through said she couldn't take it anymore. It was giving her chills. For my sake, she continued to read it and then she began to express her feelings.

Far too often I think we don't tell people how we feel about them. We tend to be private with our feelings, keeping things to ourselves. We don't tell our friends we love them, we don't share how we really feel because we think "there's always tomorrow."

In my life I have lost many people. Some of these people died. Some of these people have moved out of my life in a way in which I will never find them again. Some of these people I pushed out of my life and some pushed their way out. As I thought about these people I lost, I wondered how many of them really knew how I felt about them.

When you look at my personality type, I am a feelings person. I feel before I think. However, even though I am a feelings person, I don't always do my best at telling people how I feel. I believe that I often hide my feelings so that I have less likely of a chance to get hurt. The truth of the matter is, there is more that I need to share with people than I really do. I need to tell people how I feel.

So I'm reminded...of the challenge once given to me by a wise old friend. "Tell people how you really feel because there may not be a tomorrow."

I challenge you (and myself) to tell people how you feel about them. It will mean the world to them and it will change your world as well.

Trusted Friends

When I was growing up, I struggled with fitting in with the crowd. I had a few trusted friends and basically despised everyone else.

As I have grown older my number of friends has broadened. I have people who have been in my life for certain seasons, some for years, some of only weeks. There are close friends, distant friends, long lost friends, and then those I just consider acquaintances.

Going through life with all those issues has caused me to have times when I really needed a shoulder to cry on, a friend to hug, someone to laugh with, you know all the things a friend does for a person. Whenever I was in need, it always seemed that God put the person there that I needed.

As I have gotten older, I prayed that I would be the friend to people, that people have been to me. I want to be able to be the person that people chose to confide in, the person people trust, the person that people come to when they feel they can go no where else.

You get what you pray for. People come to me all the time and I don't always understand it. People will share things with me that I have no knowledge about. Some will share deep, personal stories while others just share the latest gossip. The point is, I am being that friend. As I asked my trusted friend and counselor, why people choose me she said it was because I am easy to talk to. She said I have an open mind and people know they can trust me. I told her that all sounded great, but I didn't buy it.

Maybe I should start buying it. More and more these days, I have become the trusted friend. I am thankful that God is placing me in the lives of people that need me. I am hearing heart wrenching stories. I am hearing stories of love and laughter. I am hearing stories of pain and suffering. Most of all, I am hearing stories as the trusted friend.

So, as I think about being the trusted friend that hears the stories (that I don't repeat), I think about my trusted friends. I am forever thankful for the lives of the people who have touched me; while I am ever thankful that God has placed me in the lives of those who need a trusted friend.

May we remember that no matter where we walk or the trials we face God has us there for a reason. So look around, find trusted friends and never let them forget that you are thankful.

Red, Yellow, Black, and White...We are precious in His sight

In the past few weeks, I have been contacted by several divinity school graduates to come and speak to various groups at their churches about Islam. Of course, I have agreed to go and help them out with this teaching. As I have been thinking about this, I thought about my life.

I grew up in a rural town on a dirt road, next to my grandparent's 40 acre farm. The closest thing I knew to diversity were the few African American children in my classes. Most of the people I knew and hung around were white. As I went through middle and high school, this stayed the same. When I was accepted to various universities across the Commonwealth of Virginia, I ended up choosing the one closest to home, yet it had some of the greatest diversity. As I arrived on campus for the first day of my freshmen year, I realized I was in the minority. I was surrounded by people from all over the world. I was 17 years old and had never left the East Coast of the United States.

Following that first year in college, I went to Europe for the first time to teach English. Since traveling internationally the first time, my interest was sparked, my feet were wet and I didn't want to stop traveling. I have traveled somewhere internationally each year since then. I am blessed to have been able to do this.

As I embraced the diversity that there was at VCU, I fell in love with the world cultures. It was quite interesting to me that I knew very little about other religions. I am a Christian and hadn't thought much about learning about other religions. Then September 11, 2001 happened. I remember the day and time, I remember where I was and how I reacted. After this tragic time for our country and its people, I decided that the way I could help was to learn more about Islam and help people to understand the true meaning. After all, God calls us to love all people. The following spring semester, I signed up for my first course on Islam. I remember going the first day. I was scared to death because I didn't know a thing and I was scared to fail. I was greeted with smiling faces and warm hearts of the many Muslims that were in the class.

As I continued my studies, I opted for a double major and chose religion with a focus on Christianity and Islam. This became one of the best opportunities for me. I was able to study under some of the best scholars and Imams in Islam. I took courses comparing the three monotheism's. I wrote papers, I read the Qur'an and I attended the masjid (mosque). This was a growing time for me.

During my years in college I became good friends with many Muslim people. I participated in more of the Muslims Student Association events than I did the Christian ones. It seemed that Muslims really knew how to accept people, while I always felt excluded in the Christian groups because I wasn't "like" everyone else.

Upon graduating from college I moved to a very small town in North Carolina where I would begin to attend Divinity School just a few weeks later. I thought that I had lost all of the diversity and that the learning about Islam would stop. I was wrong. I have been able to take world religions and independent research on Islam. Now I am the coordinator for International Student Services at the University working with people of all faiths and backgrounds.

So as I think about going and speaking at these churches in the upcoming weeks, I look at the path I have taken that brought me here. My ability to study and to learn has made me one of the student leaders for knowledge on Islam. I have students that ask me questions all the time. I have helped to build bridges between Islam and Christianity and for that I am truly thankful. Going to speak at these churches is not going to be easy. It is still a little nerve wracking because I struggle with what to say and how people will accept it. For now I can just keep it in my prayers.

As the picture above clearly shows, God created us all with different skin tones, different voices, different everything, yet he loves us all. As I continue to teach and educate others, may I do so in a way that God is exalted and people realize that just because someone believes differently than you it doesn't mean they are bad people.

Two worlds

The life of a divinity student is often quite hard. We are consumed by classes, reading, homework, exams, ministry positions, work, and all at the same time we have families and social lives to keep up with.

Since coming to divinity school, I have realized that many of the younger students (around my age) have a hard time adjusting to this lifestyle. It is not because the work is too hard or too much. We often struggle because we find ourselves living in between two worlds.

There is the divinity school atmosphere in which we are called to be witnesses for God. Then there is the world beyond Buies Creek.

As I think about living life as a divinity student, I have reflected that it has been quite hard to be myself. When I first began attending this small school I decided that I was just going to go with the flow, and cover up who I really am. After a few semesters of that, I realized how depressed and sad I was that I wasn't saying how I really felt about things or spoke up in conversations about controversial issues.

Many of the younger students struggle with this. When we talk,we discuss the fact that we are often scared to speak up, scared to share our own thoughts for the fear of being judged and doomed to hell. I think its a sad state when you can't be yourself in your own learning environment.

I decided over the summer that when I returned to divinity school this semester, I was going to be Sara. Take me as I am or leave me. That is what I felt was best for me and knew that if I wasn't myself, I would continue to live in this saddened, depressed stage.

Since coming back to school this semester, I have been Sara. When someone says something I don't agree with, I tell them. I have butted in to many controversial topics, and have discussed my way through them until I was satisfied.

I know that this has surprised a few people and has made others really question who I really am. All I know is that I am happy. I go around a much better person because I know that I am being me. I have had people comment that I seem much more at peace, and that I look overall happier with life. I gotta admit, being yourself in your place, as God has called you to be is what life is all about.

My life has changed for the better. I am happy. I am myself. And I actually am looking forward to the future ;)

A gem in your crown

When I was growing up, my grandmother always told me about people doing things just to get a gem in their crown. When I asked her what she meant, so always explained something about having a crown in heaven and for every good deed done on earth, a new gem was added.

There was the lady who would visit the shut ins every week. My grandmother told me the woman actually hated doing it, but she did it for the glory.

There was the distant relative that would come around every Christmas (the only time we ever saw her) and give us money.

There was the pastor that tried to make sure all of the children joined the church and were baptized. He was a numbers man.


As I have grown up, I stopped thinking about people doing things for the gems in the crowns. The thought left my mind for a while but has been brought back in recent months.

I was reminded of it again tonight. One of my closest friends is sick. She was doubled over in pain and I knew she needed help. I stopped what I was doing and went to be with her. I didn't do it for the glory or for the thanks. I did it because she truly means a lot to me and I didn't think she should be alone.

As we were sitting together, she decided that she needed to call her host family. She did and the woman said well we have plans but I will change them to come and get you. My friend told her there was no need for that, but the woman insisted. When my friend got off the phone she said to me, "she only wants to take me there so she can let me see a doctor then she can take me to the church and parade me around and let everyone know what she has done for me."

It saddens me to think that there are people in this world that would do that. As I thought more about it, I realized that my friend was right. The woman did want to parade her around for the glory.

God didn't call us to parade our good deeds for the glory. He called us to act justly,love mercy, and walk humbly with Him (Micah 6:8.) God doesn't call us to show off our good deeds or to expect thanks for them. So why do so many people do it?

Where are our servant hearts these days? Maybe I will have many gems in my crown, but I hope it's not because I did something just for the stone. I hope the gems are there because I have given of myself to show the love of Christ to others.

Don't ever be...

"Don't ever be afraid to come to me and cry. Don't ever hesitate to look me in the eye. Don't ever be afraid to tell me how you feel. You're my friend, together we gotta keep it real."

I have a close friend who has been going through a great deal of stress and pain in the last few weeks. Some days she seems to be on a high, smiling and enjoying life. While others she is just sad and doesn't understand the pain.

We talk everyday about the situation and ways to get through it. She seems to always ask me, "Why me?" and I don't know the answer.. so I just have to say, "I don't know, but you are stronger than this." I know that she is stronger than this situation...but I also know that this is hard and not easy to face.

Tonight we were talking and I could tell that she wanted to cry. I moved and sat beside her and held her in my arms and told her to cry.

Sometimes crying is not easy for us. We don't like to do it in front of others, we would rather hold in the pain. I'll admit, I don't like to cry in front of others.

The quote I chose to begin this evenings writings is dedicated to her. I hope she is never afraid to cry with me, never afraid to tell me how she really feels, never afraid to be real.

Facing a trial and tribulation with the help of a close friend always makes the situation seem a little brighter.

I'd like to share a few more of my favorite friendship quotes this evening. Maybe they will inspire you to thank someone in your life that you can be real with. Someone you can cry with and look in the eye. Don't ever forget that God placed these people in your life for a reason. When you are looking for God, just look around. He has placed people there to help you get through this.

"We are both of us angels with only one wing. We can fly only by embracing each other."

"When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look forward, look beside you and I'll be there."

"A friend is someone who smiles when you smile, laughs when you laugh, and cries when you cry."

Dance Partners

Let it be known, I like to dance. My sister can dance and has lots of rhythm and because of that she always told me I couldn't dance. I've always thought I had a few moves so I didn't really listen to what she had to say to me.

There are many different kinds of dance from dancing in the club to ballroom dancing, to polka dancing or line dancing. Now, I've done my share of dancing in the clubs, I've taken ballroom dancing lessons and even gone line dancing. Each dance has its on technique, its own style.

I've been reading a book for school and the writer talks about how the church should be in a dance with God. It's all about the movement between the two. As I began to think about this while driving from Virginia to North Carolina today, I started to equate dancing to my life.

There was a time in my life where I had one constant dance partner. We went everywhere together, made every move together, our feet moved in sync. This dance lasted for years until one day my foot was stepped on. After this, our moves were out of sync. We could never really get things back on track. And so our dance stopped.

After that long period of dance I thought it appropriate to take a break. I felt like one of those people at the clubs that is always standing on the sidelines and watching. Everyone else seems to be out there having a good time, even if they really can't dance. As I stood on the sidelines, I wanted to move, I wanted to dance but just never found the right partner.

There were periods where I danced a few dances with various people. While it was nice to be able to use my moves and move my feet, I really wasn't happy. I didn't feel like I had the best dance partner or that we made the best match.

After dancing with a few people, I decided that God was leading me to leave the dance floor all together. I left the club and stayed at home. While I was doing the things I needed to be doing with my life, I wasn't out on the floor. When I finally realized that it was all about giving things to God and letting him show me the right dance floor to be on, then I knew I was back on the right track.

I've been on a different dance floor since entering Divinity School. I've danced a few dances but there was no match. In the last few weeks, I think I've found a new dance partner. I'm excited about this dance called life and what it will bring. I ready to dance this dance (even if he is scared of having two left feet...or stepping on my toes). This song just started, so I am up for the dance.