Undo Me

Tonight was United Campus Ministry night at Campbell. At 7p.m. students gathered in Turner Auditorium for Campus Wide Worship. This was a time to hear scripture, sing songs, pray, and reflect. Each of the seven campus ministry groups on campus participate by leading in the various aspects of the service.

I wanted to attend tonight because of the experience that I had last year at the service. I went into that service knowing that I had been questioning my beliefs and my faith. I had just returned from Egypt and it was in Egypt that I was ready to give up all of my faith in Christ. Yet God spoke to me through a friend. After returning back to the States I had a talk with my good friend Faithe Beam, the Campus Minister. She mentioned that there would be a Campus Wide Worship service and that I should consider attending. I went and kind of just went through the motions. I closed my eyes when someone prayed, I stood to sing, and I listened to the scripture, yet my heart wasn't right. During that service, a Nooma video featuring Rob Bell was shown. The video was entitled Rhythm. While I don't remember the words of the video, I do know that it changed my life. It was about how things go together and about finding faith. While viewing that video, I began to cry. When the service was over, I left there a changed person. I shared this experience with Faithe and we rejoiced together. Because of this experience, I wanted to attend tonight.

I arrived tonight with a heavy heart. I have been working for days on end and not focusing on what is important. Today was my day off and I slept until noon. I went and got a pedicure and bought a new watch. I had some "me" time. Although I felt refreshed from the day off, my heart was still heavy. As the service began, I looked around at the numerous students around me. I was surprised when they clapped after everything, from the singing of songs to the reading of scripture. As I listened to a few testimonies, I was reminded of the world travels that I have been on and the people that I have shared Christ with.

During one of the songs we were singing, I must admit that I stopped singing. I stood there wondering why I was there and figured that I wasn't going to have the same experience that I had last year. And then God spoke. The lyrics to the last hymn were put up on the screen. As I stood there I looked at them realizing that it was my favorite hymn "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing." I closed my eyes and began to sing the words by heart. This song was played at my ordination and has been a song that I have loved since about the age of 13. After we finished the song, Faithe got on stage and began to speak.

Faithe shared of her experience of turning 40 and Tom and Patrick giving her the chance to go skydiving. She equated the trust that she had to put into her skydiving guide to the trust that we need to have in fellow believers and in God. She gave the imagery of how the guide clipped himself to her to prepare for the jump out of a plane at 14,000 feet, God is clipped onto us. Just like jumping out of a plane and free falling, Faithe was attached to an experienced person that knew what to do. When we take a leap God is holding onto us. Sometimes we forget he is there, but he always is.

When I left the service, I began to think about the lyrics to my favorite hymn. "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" was written by Robert Robinson in the 18th century. Robert was just 22 when he penned the words to the hymn. Robert had a pretty interesting life. His father died when Robert was young and so he turned to recklessness and hooliganism. He had a conversion experience when he was listening to a sermon by George Whitefield. He began to repent for his sins and turned his life to following Christ. Robert became a Methodist minister following this.

As I thought of the words to this hymn, I wondered about what Robert must have been dealing with when he wrote the words. If you look up "fount" you will realize that it means"a source or origin." Basically the song says: Come thou source or origin of every blessing. When we sing this song, we are calling upon God to make his presence known, he is the source of our every blessing. In the second verse, Robinson wrote "Here I raise mine Ebenezer." If you look this up online, there are various definitions of it, usually seen as "standard." Ebenezer is also mentioned in the book of Samuel as a place of battle. Basically, the verse means, I'll raise my standard, and I will wait upon the Lord to help me through. The third verse is one that Faithe mentioned in her "talk". It says, "Prone to wander, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love." We are all going to struggle, we are all going to wander. What's important is that we have faith in God and know that even though we wander, He won't leave us, he won't give up on us.

Reflecting on the words to this hymn made me think about one other song. One of my favorite songs in my early college years was Undo Me by Jennifer Knapp. The chorus of the song says, "And it's time to get down on my knees and pray, Lord undo me. Put away my flesh and bone til you own this spirit through me Lord. Undo me." Tonight I realized that I needed to pray for the Lord to undo me. It's time to be on my knees. It's time to be in prayer. This is no time to give up. This is the time to be undone so that the light shines through.

So I pray, Come thou source of every blessing, tune my heart to sing thy grace.