Yesterday afternoon, I was ordained. It was a brisk winter afternoon. The winds were high and there were wildfires across the state of North Carolina. There was one fire close to Neill's Creek Church and for parts of the day the roads around the church were closed. Some people had a hard time getting to the church.
The service began at 5p.m. on the dot. I didn't want the service to begin until all of my family and friends were present. Some of them were late due to the fires. My mother counted that at least 25 people traveled from Virginia to be at the service in support of me. I was surprised by the children's choir being present to sing two selections for me. They prepared this as a surprise and a gift. It touched my heart. The service continued on with prayer and singing. Two of my friends read scripture and one friend sang and played the piano. Dr. Brock delivered the charge to me. He used Romans 12 as his text. I felt as if he were speaking directly to me when he spoke. It touched my heart.
Dr. De Brand followed with the charge to the church. He said he wasn't sure what to charge them so he would start out with $99.95. There was a congregation full of laughter.
One of the most touching parts of the service for me was the laying of the hands. This is what Joey ( as well as others) refers to as empty hands on empty heads. As I have thought about this statement and talked with him about it it has made me think about what I am. Without God, I am nothing. With God, I can be everything he has called me and wants me to be. During the laying of the hands, I kept my head bowed and my eyes closed. I listened as folks came by and offered words of prayer and blessing. My dad went first; he cried and I cried. Following him was the rest of my family, then all ordained ministers and deacons, and then anyone in the church that wanted to come forward.
My friend Brandon was present for the service. He is 23 years old and is mentally handicapped. He is autistic, mentally retarded, and epileptic. I was unsure if he would even be able to make it because of his seizures. When his aunt and her husband came forward as ordained ministers, he ran down the aisle. They asked Brandon if he had anything to say to me. He started off with, "I hope you get better." I had a tear in my eye and looked up at him. He continued, "because you have a new bed." While that moment probably didn't make any sense to anyone else in the room, it touched my heart. Not so much the words that he spoke but his presence there and his will to try to say something to me.
After the service I was presented with my certificate of ordination and the Bible that everyone who laid hands signed. The chairman of the deacons presented these to me and said that they were honored to ordain me when I asked them to. I kind of cringed at that statement. The truth is that I did not ask. There were people in the church who affirmed my call and saw it in me. They approached the pastor at the time and he talked with me. After discussion with him, I went through the processes that the church had in place to be ordained. It was a big deal because I was the first female minister for them to ordain.
Ordination in fact was a big deal for me. I attended the ordination service of my former youth minister when I was 16 years old. When I participated in that service I knew that one day, I would be ordained. It was not something that I decided on my own, it was a sense that the Holy Spirit laid upon my heart. This was not a service in which I was made to be anything more than just me, the person God has called me to be. It was not a coronation or an inauguration. However, it was a service that recognized my calling and my abilities to serve. I have agreed to serve alongside fellow believers and be committed to all that God has called me to do, where ever God calls me to go.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Friday, February 8, 2008
Children of all ages....
Tonight I went to the circus in Raleigh. When I was growing up my dad would take me every year. I loved the circus; the clowns, animals, tricks, and fun. When I was a teenager and in college I often asked friends to go with me, but never went as much. I wanted to go last year but I was quite sick so I didn't get to go. When I found out the circus was coming to Raleigh I definitely wanted to go.
As we arrived to the RBC center there were PETA folks outside with signs about Animal rights and fair treatment of animals. Somehow, I don't remember that from my childhood.
We had seats on the third row of the section. The whole row in front of us was children. They were buying cotton candy, icees, hats, light up toys, and popcorn. I was quickly reminded of growing up. All the children around me would get that "junk" as my dad called it, but I didn't. I never thought it was fair. As I looked on tonight at all the money that was being spent on that "junk" I realized why my dad never bought it for me.
When I was growing up my favorite part of the circus was the elephants. As they entered the arena tonight I realized just how much I like the elephants. They are such giant creatures and they have been taught and trained to do such neat things. As I was watching the elephants my mind wandered to the signs I saw outside about animal rights. I know that Ringling Brothers treat their animals with respect. As we were leaving each person was given a brochure about animal treatment and the use of elephants.
No matter what people think or say... I love the circus and my favorite part will always be the elephants.
As we arrived to the RBC center there were PETA folks outside with signs about Animal rights and fair treatment of animals. Somehow, I don't remember that from my childhood.
We had seats on the third row of the section. The whole row in front of us was children. They were buying cotton candy, icees, hats, light up toys, and popcorn. I was quickly reminded of growing up. All the children around me would get that "junk" as my dad called it, but I didn't. I never thought it was fair. As I looked on tonight at all the money that was being spent on that "junk" I realized why my dad never bought it for me.
When I was growing up my favorite part of the circus was the elephants. As they entered the arena tonight I realized just how much I like the elephants. They are such giant creatures and they have been taught and trained to do such neat things. As I was watching the elephants my mind wandered to the signs I saw outside about animal rights. I know that Ringling Brothers treat their animals with respect. As we were leaving each person was given a brochure about animal treatment and the use of elephants.
No matter what people think or say... I love the circus and my favorite part will always be the elephants.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Rise up suckers...
On the second day of the New Baptist Covenant Celebration we had the joy of hearing Tony Campolo speak to us. He began with the challenge to preach Christ, but which one. We were reminded that the Bible tells us that others will try to trick us into believing they are prophets. The truth is that they are false prophets. We are called to preach the Jesus of the scriptures. Campolo said that the Jesus of the scripture challenges us to live radical lives and get our values straightened out.
I felt challenged by the story that he shared of the Lawyer versus the Doctor. Campolo tells of one former student that he had that was one of the brightest students he ever had. This student went on to law school and was in the top of his class. He could have opened his own practice but instead he moved to Southern Alabama and practices law representing inmates of the jails that would otherwise have no one to even care about them. He compared this lawyer to another student he had. This student went on a mission trip to South America with Campolo. He saw the lives of the poor people there and said that he was going to come back to that place and practice medicine. After medical school this doctor opened his own practice in New York and was in the practice of giving breast implants. When Campolo saw him years later he asked him about the commitment he had once made to going and helping those poor people. The doctor said, well I am helping people. Campolo said no son, you sold out. One went on to help people truly in need, the other completely forgot about his commitment.
Jesus called us to take up our cross and follow him. He wasn't kidding when he said this.
Campolo gave us a few challenges and shared stories of why he belonged to a black church, including the "Goodnight Clarence" story. The final challenge from Campolo came in his words:
"Rise up you suckers and go out and do the work of Jesus."
What a challenge we are called to. Let's rise up suckers.
I felt challenged by the story that he shared of the Lawyer versus the Doctor. Campolo tells of one former student that he had that was one of the brightest students he ever had. This student went on to law school and was in the top of his class. He could have opened his own practice but instead he moved to Southern Alabama and practices law representing inmates of the jails that would otherwise have no one to even care about them. He compared this lawyer to another student he had. This student went on a mission trip to South America with Campolo. He saw the lives of the poor people there and said that he was going to come back to that place and practice medicine. After medical school this doctor opened his own practice in New York and was in the practice of giving breast implants. When Campolo saw him years later he asked him about the commitment he had once made to going and helping those poor people. The doctor said, well I am helping people. Campolo said no son, you sold out. One went on to help people truly in need, the other completely forgot about his commitment.
Jesus called us to take up our cross and follow him. He wasn't kidding when he said this.
Campolo gave us a few challenges and shared stories of why he belonged to a black church, including the "Goodnight Clarence" story. The final challenge from Campolo came in his words:
"Rise up you suckers and go out and do the work of Jesus."
What a challenge we are called to. Let's rise up suckers.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Hey... Where's my hat?
Today, we embarked upon Atlanta, Georgia for the Celebration of the New Baptist Covenant. Six good friends together in one of the largest cities in the United States. We braved the traffic on the 400, checked into our fabulous hotel, and then figured out the MARTA to get to the CNN Center. After a good dinner from Moe's we made our way to the Congress Center. We checked out a few of the exhibitors and made our way to our seats. After finding out that we didn't need to be ushers we sat down in the midst of a diverse crowd.
After the political greetings of the Governor and Mayor, there was singing and a gospel choir. They were fantastic and had us on our feet. I had chills, feeling the presence of Christ in that place. Dr. Shaw got up to preach and began to talk about having many sympathies in that place. He said I am here and I am surrounded by many black folks and they realized that what I have been asked to do is a hard thing. First, I have been given a subject to preach on and second, I have been given a time limit. He did a wonderful job of bringing the people together in realizing what our purpose was. He spoke of the peace and justice of Jesus Christ. He spoke about Jesus saying I am. Jesus is the I am. That is all he needs to explain himself. Then he said that our response should be, HERE, I AM lord. Without you I am nothing, but with you I am everything. If we are realistic, we know that if we hurt the least of these we are hurting Christ.
Former President Jimmy Carter brought a message of hope and encouragement. He shared from the scripture and shared from his heart. He asked us a list of questions about life and justice and what we should really believe. We were challenged to come together and be unified even though we are so diverse.
I'll admit, there were parts of the evening that I found myself asking questions. I asked why did they do that or what just happened. I also looked around at all those ladies and said.. "Where's my hat?" Too bad I left it at home.
After the political greetings of the Governor and Mayor, there was singing and a gospel choir. They were fantastic and had us on our feet. I had chills, feeling the presence of Christ in that place. Dr. Shaw got up to preach and began to talk about having many sympathies in that place. He said I am here and I am surrounded by many black folks and they realized that what I have been asked to do is a hard thing. First, I have been given a subject to preach on and second, I have been given a time limit. He did a wonderful job of bringing the people together in realizing what our purpose was. He spoke of the peace and justice of Jesus Christ. He spoke about Jesus saying I am. Jesus is the I am. That is all he needs to explain himself. Then he said that our response should be, HERE, I AM lord. Without you I am nothing, but with you I am everything. If we are realistic, we know that if we hurt the least of these we are hurting Christ.
Former President Jimmy Carter brought a message of hope and encouragement. He shared from the scripture and shared from his heart. He asked us a list of questions about life and justice and what we should really believe. We were challenged to come together and be unified even though we are so diverse.
I'll admit, there were parts of the evening that I found myself asking questions. I asked why did they do that or what just happened. I also looked around at all those ladies and said.. "Where's my hat?" Too bad I left it at home.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Brown Rice...Priceless
Yesterday and today have been quite the interesting days. I have to say...I've smiled a lot. Yesterday began with my Old Testament Exposition class on Job and Ecclesiastes. The day started out a little rocky considering class starts at 8 and I didn't wake up til 7:41. I made it by a few minutes after 8. I enjoyed class, Dr. Cartledge brings many interesting pieces of information to the table and he really wants us to think about things in new ways.
After class I returned home to take a shower and really get ready for the day. In the mean time, I got the definite from my boss that I am going to St. Louis in February for work. I'm actually quite excited. I had one more class and then went to get a pedicure.
Last night a group of 8 of us went to Durham to eat sushi at our favorite place, Akashi. We celebrated Kellie's 29th birthday and had a great time of fellowship. Laura ordered the wrong sushi and it turned out to be very spicy. I was one of the few at the table that could eat more than one piece, and I actually liked it. Laura figured if I could handle it, it couldn't be too bad. Well, she popped the piece in her mouth and all eyes were on her. She turned completely red and grabbed for her drink. Her face was PRICELESS.
On our way out, Joey pointed out the sign on the Chinese restaurant next door that said: New Item: Brown Rice. How cool is that.. their newest item is brown rice. Yum.
This morning I took 4 students to the Social Security Office. We spent over 2 hours there. It was not my idea of fun as there were so many people around and it made me claustrophobic. One woman even took her child into the bathroom and proceeded to beat the child and scream at her. The security guard had to knock on the bathroom door and check on the situation.
This evening, we showed the first ever international movie at Campbell. When I arrived the guy from the physical plant said that they had received an empty case. I thought.. fantastic. I called my boss and he didn't answer. He finally called back only to determine that the DVD was in his computer. We finally got the movie back (30 minutes late) and showed "Bride and Prejudice." I truly enjoyed the movie. The students laughed and we all had a good time. A lot of the scenes were priceless. Especially the scene with the gospel choir on the beach (you gotta see it).
I like days filled with brown rice and all things priceless.
After class I returned home to take a shower and really get ready for the day. In the mean time, I got the definite from my boss that I am going to St. Louis in February for work. I'm actually quite excited. I had one more class and then went to get a pedicure.
Last night a group of 8 of us went to Durham to eat sushi at our favorite place, Akashi. We celebrated Kellie's 29th birthday and had a great time of fellowship. Laura ordered the wrong sushi and it turned out to be very spicy. I was one of the few at the table that could eat more than one piece, and I actually liked it. Laura figured if I could handle it, it couldn't be too bad. Well, she popped the piece in her mouth and all eyes were on her. She turned completely red and grabbed for her drink. Her face was PRICELESS.
On our way out, Joey pointed out the sign on the Chinese restaurant next door that said: New Item: Brown Rice. How cool is that.. their newest item is brown rice. Yum.
This morning I took 4 students to the Social Security Office. We spent over 2 hours there. It was not my idea of fun as there were so many people around and it made me claustrophobic. One woman even took her child into the bathroom and proceeded to beat the child and scream at her. The security guard had to knock on the bathroom door and check on the situation.
This evening, we showed the first ever international movie at Campbell. When I arrived the guy from the physical plant said that they had received an empty case. I thought.. fantastic. I called my boss and he didn't answer. He finally called back only to determine that the DVD was in his computer. We finally got the movie back (30 minutes late) and showed "Bride and Prejudice." I truly enjoyed the movie. The students laughed and we all had a good time. A lot of the scenes were priceless. Especially the scene with the gospel choir on the beach (you gotta see it).
I like days filled with brown rice and all things priceless.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
When the Burden is heavy
Lately I have felt that my burden and load have been heavy. I wake up in the morning with too much on my mind and heart and go to bed nearly the same way. As a person of prayer, I have found myself over and over again giving these burdens to God, yet as a normal human I haven't found myself letting go.
In Ecclesiastes Chapter 1 the writer is speaking of having to teach others. He says that God has placed heavy burden on man by giving him this task. As I read this passage I thought about my life. I have been called to teach. God does bless us with the joy of telling others about him. Sometimes this can seem like a burden, too much for any one person to handle. But as I continued to think about my burden, I realized just how much God can take burden away. God promises that if I hand it over to him and rely on him, I will be taken care of. Two of my favorite verses of scripture come from Proverbs 3. I like to read them from the Message. It says
In Ecclesiastes Chapter 1 the writer is speaking of having to teach others. He says that God has placed heavy burden on man by giving him this task. As I read this passage I thought about my life. I have been called to teach. God does bless us with the joy of telling others about him. Sometimes this can seem like a burden, too much for any one person to handle. But as I continued to think about my burden, I realized just how much God can take burden away. God promises that if I hand it over to him and rely on him, I will be taken care of. Two of my favorite verses of scripture come from Proverbs 3. I like to read them from the Message. It says
"Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he's the one who will keep you on track."
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he's the one who will keep you on track."
You see, if we can just trust God, He will take care of everything. As humans we often try to figure out everything on our own. The scripture tells us not to do that. We are instructed to listen for God's voice in EVERYTHING we do because he is the one who will keep us on track.
Since I have been struggling with these many burdens and doing my best to give them to God, I have noticed that my prayer life is getting stronger. One of the places I pray is in the shower. When I was in the shower this morning a song came on that I have heard several times before, only this time it had new meaning for me. This song is by Sara Groves and it is called "When the Saints".
Using the link above you can read all of the words, but Sara goes on to sing about saints like Paul and Silas who carried on in the prison yard.
This song touched me in a new way this morning and I shed a few tears. I spoke a small, short prayer giving God the burden...completely placing it in his hands. All I can do now is continue to pray, have faith, and rely on the scriptures.
So if you burden is heavy, remember God will take it...if you give it to him.
Since I have been struggling with these many burdens and doing my best to give them to God, I have noticed that my prayer life is getting stronger. One of the places I pray is in the shower. When I was in the shower this morning a song came on that I have heard several times before, only this time it had new meaning for me. This song is by Sara Groves and it is called "When the Saints".
Some of the words are as follows:
"Lord I have a heavy burden of all I've seen and know
It's more than I can handle
But your word is burning like a fire shut up in my bones
and I cannot let it go."
"Lord I have a heavy burden of all I've seen and know
It's more than I can handle
But your word is burning like a fire shut up in my bones
and I cannot let it go."
Using the link above you can read all of the words, but Sara goes on to sing about saints like Paul and Silas who carried on in the prison yard.
This song touched me in a new way this morning and I shed a few tears. I spoke a small, short prayer giving God the burden...completely placing it in his hands. All I can do now is continue to pray, have faith, and rely on the scriptures.
So if you burden is heavy, remember God will take it...if you give it to him.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
LIfe changes
About 6 months ago my life changed. I was in Cairo, Egypt with my two best friends at the time. I thought things were going fine, we were having a great time. I had noticed that my best friend was becoming distant and talking to my other friend about me when I wasn't around. There seemed to be a wall between us, a distance I couldn't explain.
Finally, I confronted my best friend and asked her what was going on. She began to raise her voice with me, she told me that I was too attached to her and I needed to take time to figure out who I was. She said some other things that I found quite hurtful. There I was thousands of miles from home and as lonely as ever. My friend had told me that once we got home things would be different. She said that we wouldn't be as close. I was devastated. I didn't know what to do. I went through those last few days, surrounded by two people I thought were my best friends and yet felt so distant. I felt like I didn't know them at all.
The trip home was hard. Although I was so ready to get home and see my family, I still wanted to be close to my friend. She was sleeping when they came by with the food on the plane. When I tried to help her by waking her up she snapped at me and said she could take care of herself. I was hurt again.
After getting home, we stood in her driveway and I gave her a hug. I said goodbye. That was the last time I saw her. We talked a few times on the phone after that, but it wasn't the same. She still had a pair of my shoes and owed me money. However, I decided to take her advice. I needed to take the time to figure out who I was. So, I spent a few days with my family and then came back to school to start a new job.
In these last 6 months I have discovered who I am, who God has called me to be. I have discovered things about myself that I never chose to see or wanted to see before. I have become so close to my sister. I have become much closer to my mother and father. I cherish my friends here at school. If my friend hadn't told me to figure out who I was, I may have never done this soul searching.
However..there is a truth to be faced. I miss my best friend dearly. I don't care about my money or the shoes...I just miss her. I think of her everyday. When something good happens, I want to tell her. When something bad happens, I want to tell her.
So wherever you are habibti, I still love you. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't know who I am today. The truth is, I miss you. I want you back in my life. I want to share the good times and the bad. I just want to be able to give you a hug and know that life is gonna be ok.
Finally, I confronted my best friend and asked her what was going on. She began to raise her voice with me, she told me that I was too attached to her and I needed to take time to figure out who I was. She said some other things that I found quite hurtful. There I was thousands of miles from home and as lonely as ever. My friend had told me that once we got home things would be different. She said that we wouldn't be as close. I was devastated. I didn't know what to do. I went through those last few days, surrounded by two people I thought were my best friends and yet felt so distant. I felt like I didn't know them at all.
The trip home was hard. Although I was so ready to get home and see my family, I still wanted to be close to my friend. She was sleeping when they came by with the food on the plane. When I tried to help her by waking her up she snapped at me and said she could take care of herself. I was hurt again.
After getting home, we stood in her driveway and I gave her a hug. I said goodbye. That was the last time I saw her. We talked a few times on the phone after that, but it wasn't the same. She still had a pair of my shoes and owed me money. However, I decided to take her advice. I needed to take the time to figure out who I was. So, I spent a few days with my family and then came back to school to start a new job.
In these last 6 months I have discovered who I am, who God has called me to be. I have discovered things about myself that I never chose to see or wanted to see before. I have become so close to my sister. I have become much closer to my mother and father. I cherish my friends here at school. If my friend hadn't told me to figure out who I was, I may have never done this soul searching.
However..there is a truth to be faced. I miss my best friend dearly. I don't care about my money or the shoes...I just miss her. I think of her everyday. When something good happens, I want to tell her. When something bad happens, I want to tell her.
So wherever you are habibti, I still love you. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't know who I am today. The truth is, I miss you. I want you back in my life. I want to share the good times and the bad. I just want to be able to give you a hug and know that life is gonna be ok.
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